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April 25, 2001 - Wednesday
Today, at 10:30 am, Jenny left the hospital and went home !!!
We pray that she never returns !!!!
Praise the name of the Lord for his miracles !!!
His mercies are clearly new each and every day !!!
Today, Jenny sat outside and played with her baby Ellie - - all day long.........
Ellie, who is 11 months old, was so excited to have her mommy home......
In fact, throughout the day she kept repeating, "momma, momma"
What a gift from God !!!!!
In the early evening, Jenny went to the drugstore to fill her prescriptions.......
8 different medications !!!!!!!
"a small meal"..............
When Jenny walked in the door of her home for the first time this morning, she was talking with Jackie, Ellie's nanny, when she looked-up at the counter - - - and she stopped her words mid-sentence..........her face turned white........
Jackie quickly told Jenny to sit down...........
For the first time, Jenny saw the HeartMate that was inside her body - - for 132 days - - sitting right there on her counter.......the contraption that saved her life..........
she sat in stunned silence..........
It was an emotional reunion..........without words........
Jenny's final words for the website were simply.....
"I'm so happy to be home again."
Well, almost.......
she's not "home" - - not just yet.........
God still has a ministry for Jenny here on this earth........
I look forward to being a part of Jenny's ministry willed by God especially for her- - - whatever that might be.......
God is so good..........
Jenny has learned so much through this experience...........
If this situation is what it took for Jenny to give her life to Christ, then so be it - - - she will never, ever regret the agony.......for through it - - she will one day live in ecstasy...........in heaven.........in perfection........with Jesus forever......
I'd ask that you give your life to Christ - - right now - don't wait until you get yourself better and ready - you never will; and anyway, you never could make yourself good enough for Christ - - He's perfect - we're not - - - - so please, from the bottom of my heart, (and HeartMate) believe by praying the following verse:
That if I confess with my mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in my heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, I will be saved. For it is with my heart that I believe and am justified, and it is with my mouth that I confess and am saved. - - -(Romans 10:9-10 - adapted to personalize the prayer)
Peace......forever........,
Tim
April 24, 2001 - Tuesday
Today is Jenny's last full day in the hospital !!!
Tomorrow morning she comes home for good !!!
Praise God !
Jenny had an echocardiogram that went very well today, she walked as much as she could and did her breathing exercises religiously.......
Just a great day !!
Jenny's bible study group (or B.S. as Jenny calls it) meets on Wed. nights - - but have not met the last few weeks because of Jenny's hospital stay......... The group is looking forward to getting back together - but Jenny says she's earned tomorrow night off..........Can anyone argue?
Certainly the focus of the study will be thankfulness.......
Reminds me of a story.......
After Jenny's successful surgery last Wednesday, mom demanded she and dad stop by the St. Vincent's chapel and pray a prayer of thankfulness.......
The chapel was empty upon their entrance........
They kneel down to say their prayers, and as dad has always done, he pulls his rosary out of his pocket and begins to pray it ......
Meanwhile, mom finishes her prayer and peeks over at dad..........
She says, "you gonna pray that whole thing????? I'm hungry - lets go !!!"
The boss had spoken..........
Channel 2 on all of the televisions in the hospital rooms is the "Chapel station." Its broadcast day and night...... When a service or mass is taking place, patients can "attend" by turning to channel 2 on their tv's.......great idea......
I wonder if anyone caught the Jim and Muffy show last Wednesday ???
Every morning I pray the following prayer in thanksgiving (from theologian John Stott)- - - I thought it appropriate to share - - -
Good morning Heavenly Father,
Good morning Lord Jesus,
Good morning Holy Spirit......
Heavenly Father, I worship you as Creator and Sustainer of the universe......
Lord Jesus, I worship you, Lord and Saviour of the world.......
Holy Spirit, I worship you, Sanctifier of the people of God.......
Glory to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit - -
As it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever.........
Heavenly Father, I pray that I may live this day in your presence and please you more and more.....
Lord Jesus, I pray that this day I may take up my cross and follow you......
Holy Spirit, I pray this day you will fill me with yourself, and cause your fruit to ripen in my life - - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control......
Holy, blessed and glorious Trinity, three persons in one God, have mercy upon me.....
Amen.......
Please join me in this prayer and never forget to thank God for His grace, mercy, love and kindness.......
A deeper theology than this - - I know not - -
"Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so...."
April 23, 2001 - Monday
I entered Jenny's room at 5 pm today, and she was asleep........resting quietly........very, very quietly........
The "swooosh" of the HeartMate was long gone, and, for the first time, Jenny was not hooked up to any machines....... Not one !!
The room was incredibly bare without all the medical equipment; it was just Jenny, in bed, resting.... and it was a peaceful and unexpected sight..........
Earlier today, baby Ellie joined her mommy in a hospital bed picnic - complete with peanut butter sandwiches, cheese and milk.......and a resulting mess !
Ellie was showcasing her new summer pink floral sandals - - very righteous! I recommend getting a pair......
Jenny's new regiment is to walk, by herself, 250 feet, 4 times a day......... As of 5pm, she finished 2 of her walks......
Dr. Allen's assistant saw Jenny walking in the hallway - - and the nurse almost fell over at the sight ...........
"I can't believe you're walking !!!!! I just can't believe it !!!" I'm going to tell Dr. Allen the news - and that you look so wonderful - and I'm going right now !!!"
The response from Dr. A? - - -
He's moving up his projected day Jenny will leave the hospital for home - - -
Jenny said the day could be as early as this Wednesday or Thursday !!!!!
Can you believe it ?????
Less than 1 week ago, the doctors at St. Vincent's had never performed this particular operation - - and now - - - they're talking about sending Jenny home - - for good !!!
Jenny has to also perform breathing exercises - -every 2 hours she breathes into a machine with all her might - - 10-20 times.......The little hand-held plastic machine has numbers on the side like a thermometer......Jenny is supposed to be achieving a score of 1300 cc's every time she blows into the contraption........ Last time Jenny was in the hospital, she made some money off me betting that she could hit her "blow"" goal....... I was "conned" by my baby sister's clever sting operation - - take a look......
Although Jenny's room was bare of hospital equipment, it was full of beautiful smelling flowers given to her by some very important young ladies and man in her life - -
Chris bought some flowers yesterday - - and today, Jenny's nieces Erin and Katie, as well as baby Ellie all bought floral arrangements that filled the air with some sweet smells..........it's evident immediately upon entering the room -- -- how thoughtful of Chris and the girls !
Jenny's comments?????....."keep 'em comin'!"
Chris spent the night on a fold-out bed in the room with Jenny last night.........The hospital is so loud and nurses are in and out every few hours performing their duties that no one can sleep........At least Jenny can nap during the day - -but Chris is doing some major yard work and assisting with Ellie throughout the day - - - there's no rest for the weary..........
And so another day comes to an end.........
As difficult as this situation has been on Jenny and the family, what a blessing it's been to see God clearly working in Jenny's and our lives.........
God is so good and so worthy of our praise.....
....and not because He has given Jenny life, but only because He is God........
April 22, 2001 - Sunday
A huge day !!!!
At 8:30am, the 3 tubes in Jenny's chest/stomach area were removed !!! They have served their purposes well - - and are no longer necessary........the doctors have determined that any other fluids in that area will be absorbed by Jenny's body....... Taking the tubes out have resulted in a decrease in the pain in Jenny's body....... It also allowed Jenny to take deep breaths for the first time !! Great news !!!
Jenny had an automatic blood pressure unit on her arm that every half hour pumped itself up and took a blood pressure reading.......At 2:30am this morning, Jenny was in a deep sleep, and felt the unit pumping itself up to take a reading....... In her sleep, she calmly unfastened the unit, folded it nicely, and hid it under her blanket........ When the nurse entered her room in the morning, she said where is the blah, blah, blah, blah - - or whatever words she used to identify the technical term of the automatic blood pressure unit........
Jenny said, "I don't know...."
Jenny finally figured out what the nurse was talking about and she reached under the cover and gave her the unit......... The nurse shook her head and told Jenny to put it back on..........Jenny laughed and replaced the unit..........
Jenny's room overlooks the Emergency Room parking lot and she knows exactly what's going on out there - - she laughs at ambulances from other counties that always go the wrong way down the road - - seconds later, they always come up the right way - - and cops that always drive too fast in the area - - or when family arrives in their cars........
It's kinda fun to wave at Jenny from the Emergency Room parking lot - - perhaps perform a little dance or act - - unfortunately, her windows are tinted and you can't see in........but she's embarrassed for us when she looks out........and we get laughs from others walking through the parking lot........... After awhile, I just stopped explaining to others what I was doing........
Last evening, when the lights were on in her room, Jenny was surprised to know that Chris could see in her room......... When Jenny waved a certain way, Chris would wave back the same way.......Curious, Jenny waved a few different ways which Chris mimicked....... She was shocked to know Chris could see in.......
and it made her think --
when did the nurses give me those shots in the behind????........when my backside was facing the windows !!!- - -
here's hoping it wasn't in the evening time.........
report of a "full moon" last night by certain people in northwest Indianapolis can now be explained..........
Earlier today, Jenny had a chest x-ray -- and the results were perfect !
At 3:45 pm today, Jenny was helped to a wheelchair and taken from the Cardiac Recovery Unit back to the general area for heart patients called CVPV......... Goodbye to room 2929 !!!!
This was another amazing step in Jenny's progress.........
Unfortunately, she returned to her previous room - - affectionately known as the "linen closet" because of its size.......
Jenny got out of her wheelchair and walked un-assisted to her new bed in CVPV.........
The nurses said Jenny is strong enough and doesn't require any physical therapy....... Praise God !
Ellie is spending some time with her mommy this evening and it should be a wonderful reunion......... As Noha Ismail, Ahmed's mom from Minnesota wrote on the Message Board, "I will be looking forward to another posted picture of you and Ellie with big smiles on your faces!"...........
We'll get right on it ..............
There are few words that can describe how wonderful Jenny is feeling and how how well she has recovered from her major surgery.........I suspect she is way ahead of Dr. Allen's projected recovery schedule of 10 days to 2 weeks.......... Of course, Dr. Allen did add that Jenny could go home in 5 days - - - but he thought "that would be unexpected."
I don't think so............
Jenny will be home very soon.......
and looking forward to a returning appetite and a visit to her favorite place to eat - - - Cafe Ahmos........
April 21, 2001 - Saturday
Jenny is doing very, very well !!!!
Her color continues to improve, her strength is returning, she's alot more playful and communicative - - - every day she improves by leaps and bounds..... It's so evident when you enter her room - - and she carries on a conversation with you........ Unbelievable !!!!
Jenny had a blood transfusion today and - - -all is going well.....
Jenny and her nurse cheered for the Pacers as Reggie hit a "3" to win game 1 of the 2001 Playoffs against the Sixers and "The Answer"..........That got her heart racing - - - so she asked a nurse to come in and watch it with her !
Every two hours, Jenny has a quick heart test performed by the nurse - - and the 3pm test was very positive, just like all the previous.......
The tubes in her chest/stomach cavity are still draining - - and all is going well......
I asked Jenny if there were any areas of concern that she had, and Jenny said she can't sleep at night.......
"I wake up at 2:30am, close my eyes, and I think I sleep awhile, but the clock tells me its 2:35am.......The nights just drag on......"
As a result - - I ask that you pray for Jenny to sleep soundly tonight and for all successive nights she is in the hospital....
Jamie reminded me of this:
After taking Jenny's HeartMate out, the profusionist opened up the unit and noted that the inner latex covering had a small tear in it....... The profusionist deduced the cause of the problem and informed the doctors....... The doctors then went to another HeartMate patient in the hospital and turned his HeartMate down from an "automatic rate" that was going as high as 120 beats per minute to a fixed rate of 90 beats per minute.......The reduction in rate will increase the life of the inner latex covering of his HeartMate......
The point???
Jenny's progress is helping other HeartMate patients !!! Praise God !
The profusionist also confirmed that Chris did an excellent job of performing daily maintenance on the area around Jenny's body where the HeartMate driveline was........ The driveline is the tube that came from the inside of Jenny's body to the outside of her body, where the batteries were plugged in to run the HeartMate........There was no sign of any problems with Jenny or the HeartMate driveline when the equipment came out - - great job by Chris......... It took about 45 minutes every day for Chris to clean and maintain the area around the "driveline"; it took patience and consistency - - just a great, great job by our main man Chris!!!!
And.........Jenny had a special little visitor looking through the glass door of her room today at 4:30 pm -----
thats' right - - Ellie "strolled in" for a visit !!!! It was a little hard because Ellie could not giver her mom a hug and kiss - but it was great for mom to see her little baby ! and Ellie was very cute !!! Judy (Chris' mom) took Ellie down to the gift shop to show-off her granddaughter to a friend working in the shop...... Judy commented that Ellie really loved the shop ........mmmmmmmm............. wonder where that comes from??????
Jenny's also been able to eat some - - yesterday she had vegetable soup and today chicken soup and half a muffin..........In addition, she was able (with assistance) to get out of bed and sit in a chair for a short while............Great progress !!!
Jenny's response to her situation is a lesson for all of us......... Doctors, nurses, hospital staff, family and visitors are so impressed with her attitude........
We are so proud of her - - - and so amazed with our God !
April 20, 2001 - Friday
When the surgeons took out the HeartMate, the area to the left of Jenny's stomach where the main part of the HeartMate lied was now an empty space..........The main part of the HeartMate is a flattened titanium cylinder about 2 inches thick and 4 inches in diameter. It weighs about 4 lbs.......and now its out of her body (and, after being sterilized thoroughly, is actually at Jenny and Chris' house !!! ) - - -
but the empty space in her stomach still remains.........
So, 3 tubes were inserted into that area to drain any excess blood or liquid that deposited in that area of Jenny's body........
All 3 tubes emptied into the same receptacle hanging from the side of her bed.......
Dr. Allen thought it made sense to have each tube empty into its own receptacle, so we could determine which, if any, tubes were not necessary - - - and could be removed......The change was made on his orders.......
Today, it appears that all 3 are draining almost exactly the same amount - -
oh, well.......no tubes are coming out for now !!!
On April 18th, 2 days ago, I counted over 10 bags of medication hooked up to Jenny after surgery.........
The only bag of medication left is one for her body pain.......... Amazing progress - - in only 2 days !!!!
At 10:30 this morning, Jenny did not feel good at all.........She felt bad that she couldn't interact with mom, Jamie and Chris, but they were pleased Jenny was getting better...........Jamie even called dad and commented how amazed she was with Jenny's progress.......
Jenny slept for 2 plus hours this afternoon, and at the 2:30 pm visit she looked absolutely fantastic.......
Jenny said, "I feel myself getting stronger.....the more rest I get the stronger I feel...." After saying these words she got a little tired, and pushed the button on the blue cord - - - giving herself a shot of morphine for the pain......... Jenny said she gives herself about 4-5 shots of morphine a day........................and then craves twinkies and hostess cupcakes.........I'm glad I don't have one of those cords hooked up to me - - - I might be like the infamous BF Skinner white laboratory rat pressing the food pellet lever - - non-stop ........over an over ......... reminds me of Mack's college days........
Jenny doesn't believe us when we tell her how wonderful she looks......... The pain inside her body is not reflected on the outside of her body- -
It's usually the other way around with us - - - we have no pain on the inside of our body - - - but we are so glum on the outside .......
I read a sign once that said, "If you have the joy in your heart - - -please inform your face......."
Jenny doesn't need informing........................ She's doin' just great !
Every two hours for the last 2 days a heart test has been performed and Jenny's results have been outstanding ! Pray for that to continue !
Our family has been so thankful for God's provision in this trial.........
Although there are no answers to the question "Why", and there may never be - this side of eternity - we know the only proper response is the same as the biblical character Job's - - to trust......
As Job said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him."
The answer to "why" is not really important here -- -- if we knew it, would it change Jenny's circumstances right now???? .......Absolutely not.......
What is important is 2 things - - .......a response of trust - - - and then a response of joy........
Now, I'm not saying rejoice in the sickness or condition - - there is no love in that statement......I don't want my sister or anyone else in my family sick.........
but we are......
and we don't know why.........
and I'm saying we don't have to know why - - - we just need to respond with trust and joy.........
We need to respond like Jesus did to His cross....................
I'm saying rejoice in God, no matter what the circumstance.....in sickness or in health.......in absolutely everything.......
Think about your own life - - - is this next underlined statement not true?
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ." (James 1:2-4)
Everything of value to us must be tested to determine its real worth to us............if its not important to us, we won't fight for it when the test comes...............and God wants to know how strong our faith is in Him - - so He will test it...........because "Real faith is refined in the fires and storms of pain". Eugene Peterson
Right or wrong in our minds - - the test is happening...................and the answer to each and every test question is a response.........
a response of trust and joy - - in Christ Jesus.........
This is true faith - - - - -when we come to the point in our lives where God can withdraw ALL of His blessings from us - - - -without our trust in Him being affected.................now that's true faith !!!!!!
"In times of trouble say, First: He brought me here ; it is by His will I am in this strait place: In that I will rest. Next: He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace in this trial to behave as His child. Then: He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow. Last: In His good time He can bring me out again - how and when He knows. Say: I am here (1) by God's appointment (2) in His keeping (3) under His training (4) for His time." Andrew Murray
April 19, 2001- Thursday
the day after..........
tremendous pain all over Jenny's body.........
Jenny is just miserable with pain......... She can't get comfortable, her back is killing her, her shoulders have tubes that hurt her, her chest/stomach is full of tubes and leads - - its just an awful feeling.......
And her thirst cannot be quenched..........
However, Jenny truly looks wonderful ! She is moving her head and arms and can focus on a person and carry on a short conversation.......The pain causes her to be short at times, but everyone is cool with it - - - they can't imagine being in her shoes and handling it as well as Jenny does...........
At the 2:30 visit, she was saying, "how come no one is coming to see me?"......... The previous visit was 10:30 am, and people were there......she just thought there were alot more visiting hours.......
A nurse told me that she went into Jenny's room and Jenny had 2 pillows over her face - - the nurse ran in the room, peeked behind the pillow and saw Jenny smiling back at her.....
"What are you doing Jenny?"
"Well, it was so light and sooo noisy in the hallway, I had to block it all out..."
Jenny is receiving such wonderful care from all of the nurses - - and they have been so kind to Jenny - -truly treating her like a member of their own families....... We are all so thankful for the nurses kindness and care !
The words for the day - - - all day - - - were - - - "more water"...... Jenny couldn't get enough water to quench her thirst, but the nurses couldn't give her the water she needed because it might fill up in her lungs and cause more problems.........and thats exactly what happened.............That night, Jenny had to wear an oxygen mask because fluid did build up in her lungs and, as a result, she couldn't get enough oxygen........The oxygen mask is a "one night only" event.........Jenny won't need it going forward......
It was a long, painful and restless night.....
But nurse Michelene was there, and she took care of her old buddy Jenny..................
April 18, 2001 - Wednesday (Surgery Day)
Last night - Jenny said she cried herself to sleep last night - from 11pm - 12pm........ Surgery awaited this morning to remove the HeartMate, and Jenny was very nervous. Chris spent the night in Jenny's room last night and said "I didn't sleep at all last night"........
6:30 am - 8:30 am -
This morning, before 7 am, Jenny was given Benadrel (a relaxer), Atavan, Nitroban (antibacterial for the nose) and a shot of morphine to prepare her for surgery...... While the drugs entered her system, she called mom on the phone..........Jenny talked about a few things then told dad on the phone, "I have to read the Wall Street Journal" and then hung up........We were certain the drugs were working properly after that comment.......
Jenny fell back to sleep for about 10 minutes, and then, in her drug induced state, reached over to the phone and started dialing a bunch of numbers -- -- Chris said to Jenny, "You have to dial 9 first......."
Jenny woke up enough to turn to the phone and dial Jamie's number........
As Jamie talked on the phone, it appeared Jenny was asleep....... After a few minutes, Chris assumed Jamie had hung up the phone - - Chris went to take the phone from Jenny's ear and hang it up.......but Jenny woke up and shook her head no....... Jamie was still chattin' on the other end......and Jenny could only muster the strength to listen....
All the nurses on the floor gathered at Jenny's room as she was taken from her room to surgery. As the nurses said good-bye, Jenny raised both hands and started waving them, working the crowd, as always.........
Chris held Jenny's hand on the short stroll to surgery.......Chris and I said our good-byes before she was wheeled into surgery, but not before Jenny demanded to give me a kiss on the cheek.........
Afterwards, Jenny closed her eyes and put her hands behind her head to relax.........exactly the way her baby Ellie does everytime she drinks her bottle.......... I pointed to Jenny and said to Chris "just like Ellie", - - - and he smiled and wiped a tear from his eye........
Surgery was scheduled for 8:30 am this morning - - and all was underway........
To understand the significance of this surgery, I am told that only 18 people in Germany and a dozen or so in the USA have been through the procedure of removing a HeartMate from a patient and not replacing it with a donor heart........ The term for this procedure is called "bridge to recovery"........ what that means is taking a HeartMate out of a patient and relying totally on the patient's original heart to sustain him or her for life.......Amazing !!!!! The statistics may or may not be true, but this next statement is fact - - St. Vincent's in Indianapolis has never performed a "bridge to recovery" procedure - -- until now........
9:30 am update - -
Sister Mary who is in charge of the Cardiac Recovery Unit (for the past 21 yrs.) gave us an update that surgery was underway and all was going well...... The doctors had informed Chris earlier this week that they would perform a few visual tests prior to taking the HeartMate out....... One of the tests is a "scope" that would go through Jenny's mouth and throat and provide "visuals" of the heart... If the visuals didn't look good, there would be no sense in opening up her chest and performing the operation. The nun's update said that Jenny's chest was opened, which would infer a positive "scope" test...... Praise God !
11:30 am update - -
The surgeons removed Jenny's HeartMate successfully !!!!!! In the process, they noticed one of Jenny's heart valves was leaking....... The report was that it would take a few more hours to repair the valve and complete the surgery...... Chris said that if the doctors had noticed even the slightest of problems, they would have left the HeartMate in Jenny.........
There were none - - and the HeartMate is out !!!!
The Doyles and Walkers in the Cardiac Recovery Unit waiting room exhaled a collective sigh of relief and thanks upon hearing the news....... Nervousness has been replaced by excitement and smiles........ What a gift God continues to gives us !!!
12:30 pm update - -
The valve has been repaired !!!! Jenny's heart is working wonderfully !!! Jenny's being sewn up right now !!! The surgeon's will report to the family in 1 hour........stay tuned............
1:30 pm update - - A meeting with Dr. Allen
The Doyles and Walkers were gathered in a Conference area to await the arrival of Dr. Allen..... He and Dr. Heimansohn were Jenny's surgeons......
Following is a list of items Dr. Allen (not Allan) shared with us:
2:30 pm update - - "Seeing Jenny" !!!
Jenny looked wonderful - - compared to the last time after surgery..... Her color is good, and the room is full of machines - - I counted 10 different type of medication bags (platelets?)..... Her blood pressure was at 117 and nurse Dee was very, very positive about her recovery........ Dee said she would try to take out the vent in the next few hours......Chris said she was on the ventilator for 3 weeks after her first surgery - - so this is wonderful news !!!
4:30 pm update - - "Seeing Jenny" - Part Deux !!!
Chris, Mack and I ran into Mark the Profusionist (sp?) and he gave Chris the actual HeartMate that was in Jenny's body........ Stats on Jenny's HeartMate:
Nurse Dee said that Jenny was squeezing her hand earlier and is in and out of consciousness....... Jenny's arms are tied to the bed so that she will not pull out any of the medication leads in her arms and body.......
At 4:30 pm, her heart rate was at 106 - - an improvement from 2:30pm.......
When Chris spoke to Jenny about Ellie, Jenny smiled and opened her eyes for a short few seconds........A mention of "guess what I don't hear?" bought another smile to Jenny's face.... (FYI - the HeartMate made a very loud "swooshing" sound every second or two - - earning Jenny the very short-lived nickname of Nike......) Jenny moved her legs up and down a few times and is just doing wonderfully !!!!
Jenny's amazing recovery is in high gear !!!!
8:30 pm update - - "Seeing Jenny" - Part Three !!!
At 6:20 pm, Nurse Michelene informed me that Jenny came off the ventilator !!!!! Outstanding !!!!
Jenny's first words from surgery were, "Am I done yet?"..........
The nurse replied, "Yes, Jenny......"
Jenny's reply????? "My back hurts........"
The nurse replied with a shot of morphine.........
April 17, 2001 - Tuesday
Jenny was visibly nervous today.....One day until surgery.............She was pretty quiet and focused on the upcoming days events........ Jenny's smile hides her true toughness........She'll be ready tomorrow.........
Jenny had a chest x-ray today and all went very well........She "wolfed" her cheeseburger dinner so she could spend more time with Ellie........ Jenny knew this would be the last day she would see Ellie for awhile and Jenny made the most of their time together........ They played and talked and Ellie did all her newest tricks for her mommy...... They have a very special relationship !!!
Every nurse on the floor stopped in to wish Jenny the best tomorrow !!!! You can tell that Jenny has had a huge effect on their lives -- -- some of the nurses bought Jenny flowers, others gifts and others made cookies and food........
One person can make a difference............
One of the big highlights of Jenny's day was a visit by some folks that have truly affected Jenny's life - Jack and Mary Dee Burns...... Jack is a HeartMate recipient also, and Mary Dee is Jack's wife....... We became friends with Mary Dee, who is one of the kindest, most thoughtful persons we have ever met....... Jenny said Jack looked absolutely fantastic !!! What a treat for Jenny to get to spend time with some new friends.......It's amazing how God continues to work ......
April 16, 2001 - Monday
E.T.O.S. - Estimated Time of Surgery - - -8:30 am on Wednesday morning.........estimated time: 4-6 hours......
Jenny said the appropriate people would give us timely updates during the surgery...... Jenny requested they announce her "outstanding progress" on the PA system - - but the authorities refused.......
Jenny had her stress tests today - - - She was on an inclining treadmill running at a speed of 3.2 miles per hour.....Jenny had a tube down her mouth, a clamp on her nose, and 12 leads on her body and a number of nurses to measure her heart's performance......
One of the measures was called "cardiac output" - - and Jenny's measure was 21.4 - - the goal was at least 14 - - so the nurses were very, very pleased with the results ! Another test called the V02 (Victor Oliver 2) resulted in a similar outstanding score........
During the test, Jenny's heart rate was over 160 beats per minute !!! Jenny was sweatin' up a storm !!! When Jamie later commented, "first time she's ever sweated" - -
Jenny flashed a look - - - then --- paid Jamie no mind.............
April 15, 2001 - Easter Sunday
Jenny - - the human pin cushion - -
Her arm is so full of holes and black and blue that they've had to take the Heperin IV out of her left arm and switch it to the right arm...... Now, a whole new arm to poke full of holes !
Jenny's walks around the second floor are not as much about her getting exercise as it is her brightening people's days.....Her smile and attitude are infectious....... Couple Jenny with Ellie and Chris on the walks and the attitude of the whole second floor changes....... The power of a smile cannot be measured......The joy in Jenny's heart is evidenced on her face - - unfortunately, unlike many of us.....
An Indian lady's husband is in the room next to Jenny...... Like our family, theirs is always represented in great numbers at the hospital.....We've shared stories of hope for our loved ones doing time in their hospital beds....... She promised to pray for Jenny and assured me prayer is always answered.......Repeating it a few times to make sure I understood...... Her sincerity was evident and I thanked her for her prayers......
The family all got together on Easter, minus Jenny, Jody and George...... As always, everyone was doing their own thing until Ellie arrived (in her new pink dress).......Ellie is a reminder to me of what a wonderful God we have - - - blessing our family with such a beautiful gift.....
On this Easter Sunday, we remember the gift God gave us of His own son - - a more precious gift the world will never receive......
Happy Easter !
Erin, Katie and Jamie visited Jenny today - - which made Jenny's day.......
Jamie cam bearing gifts - - - a big basket of "Easter food"; Jamie put it on the end of Jenny's bed........
Later, Jenny, Jamie, Erin and Katie went on a walk to get a candy bar and spread some sunshine on the second floor...... Returning to the room, Jamie removed the big food basket from Jenny's bed - - -and a spider fell onto the bed...... Jenny went to the bed, looked down and saw the spider (Jenny said it was huge ...and hairy......and..it gets bigger with the passing of each day.....)....
Jenny yelled "Get this thing off my bed!" and Erin quickly grabbed her size 9 basketball shoe from her foot and raised her arm back to kill it.......Jenny said - - NO !!! I don't want spider stuff on my bed......... so Erin quickly grabbed some tissue and disposed of the spider......
Now, I'm not sure, but this could've been another heart stress test for Jenny from the nurses........
Nonetheless, Erin was the hero of the day !!!!
April 14, 2001 - Saturday
We are all focused on Monday - - a big day !
Jenny's spirits are very high and visits from Ellie and Chris a couple of times a day really helps.....Walks with Ellie on the floor are always a big hit with all the nurses !!!! When Ellie senses a crowd she starts her showing-off routine - which is always a big hit on the second floor - - - show times are usually around 10 am and 6 pm daily !
The Pneumatic HeartMate is still set at 30 beats per minute - - the doctors plan to leave it at that setting until Monday......The doctors and nurses are not concerned with her blood pressure (bp) readings - - which are lower than normal. Jenny's bp is constantly monitored......... Blood is taken from Jenny's arm every four hours -- so, thats 24 blood samples taken from Jenny over the past 4 days........her arm, hand and fingers are black and blue........but, Jenny's face is shining !!!!
Al Rust, Chris' grandfather, was admitted to the hospital a few days ago with pains in his body - - pray for him.....Every day, Jenny, Chris and Ellie visit Al on the 4th floor........spreadin' some more sunshine........
It was a beautiful day outside today, and Jenny's whole neighborhood was out enjoying each other's company...... That's hard for Jenny, but I reminded her that nice days go away and are forgotten quickly; but what she's doing in the hospital will never be forgotten......... Her life is in the process of being changed forever - - and the result will have an effect on everyone she comes into contact with - from here until the end........
Sunshine is an inside out operation - - - not outside in........
April 13, 2001 - Good Friday
The doctors turned down the Pneumatic HeartMate to 30 beats per minute today !!!! Jenny was instructed to rest....but...it's Easter weekend.................. and family and close friends came to visit - --
Jenny's linen closet room was filled all day .......Dallas from Terre Haute, Danny and Janet from Chicago, Dad, Mom, Mack, Jamie, Chris, baby Ellie, Judy, Al and his wife, and friends Shannon, Renee, and Darlene - - and this was all before 6 pm !!!!
Jenny was full of life today - - it was evidenced on her face and in her actions......... She looked wonderful, felt wonderful and was truly full of hope with regard to the upcoming events - - -
On Monday, at 10 am, the plan is to test out Jenny's heart by having her physically exert herself - - a treadmill and/or bicycle test -- -- followed by an "echo" test to determine the effect on her heart........
If all goes well, the doctors will schedule surgery to take Jenny's HeartMate out of her body..........
All is going well to date and the doctors can't explain it...........
I can..........God is sovereign and is in the midst of providing another miracle for our family....... When such a blessing comes our way, the only response is Praise !!!!!
Whatever God decides to do in this trial of Jenny's, I praise Him for His continued presence and love that He has for her.........
Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
Jenny's cross is her heart condition............. and she has "taken it up" and followed Jesus........
Nothing in this life is more important - - - nothing..........
"He who has God has everything; he who has everything but God has nothing; St. Augustine
April 12, 2001 - Thursday
Today, the doctors switched Jenny over to the older Pneumatic HeartMate device...... The switch was necessary in order to continue turning down the "beats per minute" on the HeartMate device in Jenny's body, as detailed on March 2.
The Pneumatic HeartMate was turned down to 35 beats per minute............ which meant Jenny's heart needed to pump another 35 beats per minute on its own to get to the needed 70 beats per minute to support Jenny's body in a non-stressed state !!!!
The result - - - no problems !!!!!
Jenny continued to take walks, play with Ellie and do what she does very best -- -- entertain !!!!
Jenny feels great - - looks great - - and is enjoying the newest John Grisham book when she's alone......which isn't often - -
Loneliness is feeling alone, solitude is being alone - - and solitude drives us to pursue intimate relationships.......Pray with me that Jenny's time of solitude will drive her to pursue important relationships - - especially with Jesus and family - - and that it won't drive her to focus inward - - on her situation.........
Pray that she views this time of solitude as a window rather than a mirror....
April 11, 2001 - Wednesday
Jenny got to the hospital at 10 am today - - - and she received no care until 4 pm......
At that time, Jenny was hooked up to an IV of Heperin - - a blood thinner......... Jenny will have this IV for her entire stay in the hospital...........
Jenny claims to be in a room the size of a "linen closet" and that nurses were actually carting out towels prior to her checking into the room.........
Baby Ellie visited today and was the "hit of the second floor" - - - easily, 10 nurses were gathered around Ellie - - playing with her, talking to her - just watching her - - as we are all apt to do with babies....... Chris and Jenny looked on - - beaming with pride !!!
Jenny's hopeful, as well as impatient with the "hurry up and wait" philosophy........
The first day back is always difficult.........
April 7 - 10, 2001 -
Tensions were high over these days, but Jenny's heart pumped wonderfully !!! No problems with Jenny - - she never got tired, she never complained and ..................we waited.............praying that we would make it to April 11 without incident........April 11 is the scheduled date for entry into the hospital for 1 week of extensive heart testing !!!!
April 6, 2001 - Friday
Doctor's visit to turn down the "beats per minute" on Jenny's HeartMate.....Requiring Jenny's existing heart to basically function on its own..... The HeartMate was turned down to about 50 beats per minute - - - without incident, and Jenny's heart is functioning normally - Praise God ! Today, Jenny learned the discomforting news that the Indpls doctors have never taken a HeartMate out of a patient........Pray for God to grant the wisdom and skill to these doctors, if the events lead to this step......
A little background....... Jenny's heart rate when she sleeps is about 70 beats per minute; when Jenny's active, her heart rate is about 95 beats per minute......... Turning down the HeartMate to 50 means Jenny's actual heart has to make up 15 - 45 beats per minute ON ITS OWN............ So far, Jenny's heart is holding up wonderfully !!!!
April 4, 2001 - Wednesday
At the preliminary doctor's visit (2-3 hrs), all went very well - - no complications......Praise God !!! The plan is to lower the HeartMate rate in a couple of days !!! Jenny is doing very, very well !!!
March 14, 2001
As a result of the amazing results of the "echo" test on March 2, 2001, the doctors performed a "stress echo" test today....... The purpose was to take Jenny's heart through some stress tests to see how her heart would hold up.....
The tests began - - more extreme and intense than the previous test - - but only on Jenny's heart..... She still sat in the doctor's office just like last time........
This time, however, medicine was used to simulate stress and activity on her heart......
As Jenny sat, the doctors continued to increase the stress.......
Tension was very high in the room !!!!
....but the results were always the same - - - Jenny's heart was holding up as if nothing had ever been wrong with her heart before !!!!! She handled the tests flawlessly !!!!
7 doctors and assistants concluded that her heart had gained 100% strength and is operating normally !!!!
It appeared to the doctors that if she was taken off of her HeartMate, her heart would function perfectly on its own!!!!
The doctors are determining whether that is the next step - - major heart surgery to take out the HeartMate !
More to come on this - - stay tuned.......
Truly amazing what God has done !!!!
On December 7, 2000 through Jenny's 47 days in the hospital up until the current day, Jenny has handled this situation with grace and thankfulness..... a true witness to others who struggle..........
Her response consistently takes me back to a very important verse to me in the Bible :
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thes 5:16-18
Joy - Prayer - Thanks - - - - -regardless of circumstances ----- this is God's will for you !!!!
March 2, 2001
Prior to March 2, 2001, Jenny had been back to St. Vincent's hospital many times for regular checkups as well as "mini-emergencies" with her Heart-Mate....
The "mini-emergencies" resulted from alarms that would result when her HeartMate malfunctioned - for whatever reason...... The alarms are loud, startling and very scary..... Action must be taken immediately, because, in simple terms, Jenny's heart may have stopped pumping !!!
It's very serious and scary, but each time, Chris, Jenny's husband, has been nearby and either able to solve the problem or get her to the hospital....... Chris has spent alot of time learning the HeartMate system, and he has been critical to Jenny's survival !!!
On March 2, 2001, Jenny went to St. Vincent's to perform an echocardiogram, or "echo" test...... The purpose of the test was to determine if Jenny's heart had "self repaired".....
Let me explain........
While the HeartMate is in Jenny's body performing the function of pumping the heart, her actual heart is able to rest..... and hopefully repair........ Prior to the HeartMate, it never had a chance to repair itself, since her heart was always working "overtime" to pump blood throughout her body........In fact, her heart was only pumping at 10% capacity when she entered the hospital on December 7, 2000 !!
Her heart was working so hard just to get to 10% !!! - -- Finally -- - on December 7, 2000, it just quit working altogether.......
As of December 8, 2000, the HeartMate is doing the pumping of Jenny's heart - - - and Jenny's heart is resting.........
During this resting phase, her heart could do one of 2 things:
1 - begin to repair and strengthen itself, and if it totally repaired, a HeartMate or donor heart would not be necessary....
2 - be unable to repair itself, and therefore a donor heart would be necessary....... Which means that someone would have to die and have their heart donated to Jenny so that she could live........ The HeartMate is necessary to keep her alive until a donor heart is available, as the HeartMate is not recommended as a long term solution to Jenny's heart issues.......
Here's what happened at the doctor's office on March 2, 2001:
The doctors could not explain the recovery, but requested a "stress echocardiogram" be performed on March 14, 2001, in order to test or stress Jenny's heart to see how it would perform under these circumstances........
Jenny was re-hooked to her original "swooshing" HeartMate and - - - was smiling from ear to ear..........
Very few of us experience a very tangible, touchable miracle of God..... but Jenny did ........It confirmed Augustine's saying that every great joy is preceded by a greater suffering.........
Praise God for his provision and miracle in this situation.........Miracle or not, God is good and so worthy of our praise !!!
March 2, 2001 is a day that we will never forget......... because on that day God blessed our family with a miracle healing......
Unfortunately, because we are human, these miracles rarely have a long term affect on our faith - see article - Understanding the Long Term Effect of Jesus' Miracles
Despite this, I pray that all those reading this come to faith in Christ because of this provision.....
In a related story from the bible, Jesus responded to Jairus, whose daughter was deathly sick:
"Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed."
In another instance, Jesus said in John 10 -
"Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father."
Believe the miracles !!!
Believe this miracle !!!
Finally - as a result - Believe in Christ Jesus !
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