Debby Doyle McCalley (1955 - 2007)—My sister

Written By Anna Montgomery

The Debby Doyle McCalley update page -( December 13, 1955 - July 2, 2007 )- My sister Debby was in Intensive Care since April 2007 - And she has now entered her eternal resting place in Heaven.........See updates on Debby's final days of her life....

Summary:

Debby Doyle McCalley had a serious case of Muscular Dystrophy. .......As a result, she had been confined to a wheelchair for almost 25 years and in April, 2007, the disease worsened and Debby was admitted to a hospital due to breathing difficulty. On July 2, 2007, the disease took her life and Debby went home to be with the Lord.................Following are updates from her hospital stay:

  • August 24, 2007

    The Erin and Katie McCalley Angel Fund has finally been setup..... It took a long time to receive the paperwork to set up the Trust - - not sure why - - it's a simple transaction - - nonetheless, it's now setup and ready to be utilized.....Discussions will be held with an appropriate group to determine how to best use the funds...... The plan from the beginning was to utilize the funds for educational needs and most think that's the best use...... I'm adamant on that point, as friends have provided their hard earned money and expect it to be managed wisely...... Thank you for contributing to the Fund - - we are very grateful.

    It's been well over a month since Debby has left this earth.

    Have you ever thought about what will happen to you when you pass away - -

    I mean, will you go to heaven? (If you think I'm being too personal in asking that question - - consider that I've lost three family members to death, and, at this point, I don't mind being bold on the subject)

    If you think you'll go to heaven because your a "good person" - - - think again......

    The only one who is good, according to the Bible, is God...... We should know we are "not good" based on God's definition of good - - keeping the 10 commandments - - - - because all of us have broken the 10 commandments - - His Law - - ............And because of this, we are guilty in God's eyes - - - and we are definitely "not good" in His eyes - - -

    So - - stop thinking I'm going to Heaven because I'm good - - - because that is absolutely not true in God's eyes - - whose opinion, by the way, is all that matters......

    don't think so?

    Let me ask - - have you ever (1) lied, (2) ever stolen, (3) ever looked lustfully upon another, (4) ever been jealous or greedy over what another had, (5) or ever been angry or hate someone - - - ever???? (Well, guess what, you have, because you're human) ........ I just parphrased 5 of the 10 commandments - -just half of the 10 commandments - - - and if you've done each of these only once in your lifetime - - you've just broken 5 of the commandments and (by breaking one commandment one time) you've sinned in the eyes of God...... And - - -this is important - - - in God's eyes you're guilty - - - just as guilty as the prisoner in jail for murder......

    don't think so?

    It's true - - - while our court system appropriately punishes murder more than lying - - - in God's eyes, sin is sin - - and you are guilty before Him for committing any sin........ Sure - in hell, the Bible says there are worse punishments for more grievous offenders of the Law - - - but anyone who breaks any of God's Law - - the 10 commandments - - - is guilty........and is destined for Hell.....

    ...... - - unless - - -

    You believe with all your heart in the One who is without sin, who died on the cross to take away your sins and give you eternal life - - -Jesus Christ....

    Now - - instead of God looking at you and all your sins, because of your belief in Christ as Lord and Savior of your life, He will look to Christ on your behalf , whom you believe in, and declare you "righteous" - - and you will go to Heaven forever after you pass on from this earth........

    Once you make this commitment to Christ in your heart, over time, it will be your heart's desire to please Him and to be more like Him.......

    Yea - you'll still sin - - because we're human and humans are sinners - - - - - but you will no longer be a slave to sin - - and, over time, the sinning will become more offensive to you and you will seek to do it less and to please Christ more...... the "things of this world will grow strangely dim" (and unimportant to you)..... and pleasing Christ will take precedence.....

    You'll spend more time in the Bible - - His Word - - and in prayer and in service to Him......

    Remember - - doing good deeds (like giving to the Erin and Katie McCalley Angel Fund or helping those in need ) doesn't get you to heaven - - only believing in Christ provides eternal life in Heaven.....

    You could never do enough on our own to get to Heaven - - - because no matter how many good deeds you do, you're still going to break the 10 commandments and this is how God determines guilt of a person before Him.......

    but because you believe in Christ - - you want to serve Christ more - - and grow to be more and more like Him...... Consider this - - anyone you want to develop a relationship with - - - you need to spend time with.... To develop a relationship with Christ, you'll want to spend time daily with Him in His Word, in Prayer and in Christian fellowship ......

    Debby is in Heaven now, simply because she declared Jesus Christ to be her Lord and Savior..... not because she did good things - - - which she did - - - - - and we all know she did bad things -- - - - because - - - - we all do.....

    But, she believed with all her heart, mind, sould and strength in Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior......

    Now - - -I know you're thinking - - I'm not that bad - compared to some people I read about in the paper or see on the news - - or not as bad as some friends of mine - - - I'm a pretty good person - - and God is so good, he'll understand and forgive me for my "sins" and I'll surely go to heaven- -

    - but guess what - - -:

    1. with all due respect to you, it really doesn't matter what you think; it only matters what the Word of God says...and

    2. you have broken God's Law and

    3. In God's eyes - - you are that bad because any sin is an affront to Him... and

    4. God is good and fair- - - and because He's good, He will absolutely punish anyone who breaks His Law - - - no matter how good that person thinks they are......

    So, please - - from the bottom of my heart - - - give your life to Christ today........ It's the most important and only eternal decision you will ever make.....

    If you want to speak with someone about this, please find a Christian person to speak with or email me at tdoyle@doz.net and we can talk about it......

    God bless you....

    Tim


    July 6, 2007

    The funeral......


    July 5, 2007

    The calling.....


    July 4, 2007

    Independence day................ and Debby is now, finally, truly independent..... What a beautiful reminder and blessing for the family!!

    An obituary will be in the paper on July 4 and July 5...... It will include the following arrangements:

    • Calling - Thursday, July 5, 2007 - - - 3pm - 8pm at Feeney Hornack

    • Funeral - Friday, July 6, 2007 - - - 10am at St. Pius X (there is also a short service at Feeney Hornack at 9:30am (before the funeral) for family and close friends and whoever is led to attend)

    • After Funeral celebration - Friday, July 6, 2007 - - - at the Knights of Columbus (next to Feeney Hornack)

    • Memorial contributions approach will be finalized on July 5 - - - but the plan now is to have memorial contributions made out to "The Erin and Katie McCalley Angel Fund"....... More to come on this........


    Go back - - - and think - - - how brave was the decision that Debby made?

    Could you do it?

    What do you think was going thru her mind, when she was alone, on the night of July 1, 2007, when she said to herself, "tomorrow is my last day on earth......and I am willfully choosing to leave my family and friends who love me so much....."

    How can someone turn away from such a love as this ? Debby said it herself - - - she said "Im going home to a greater love......" and the Bible says her new home looks like this:

    • Everyone will be physically whole in every way. The deaf will hear, the blind will see, and the lame will be able to run (Isaiah 35:5, 6; Philippians 3:21)

    • There will be pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11)

    • There will be no more death, pain, tears, sorrow, sickness, tragedy, disappointment, hunger, or thirst (Revelation 21:4; Isaiah 33:24; Revelation 22:3; Isaiah 65:23; Revelation 7:16)

    • Jealousy, fear, hatred, falsehood, envy, impurity, cynicism, filth, worry, and all evil will be forever gone (Revelation 21:8, 27; 22:15)

    • The whole world will be one huge garden of unsurpassed beauty, interspersed with lakes, rivers, and mountains (Revelation 22:1; Acts 3:20, 21)

    • We will live with the Lord … in person (Revelation 21:3)

    • There will be no more violence of any kind (Isaiah 60:18)

    • Righteous loved ones who have died will be raised to join the righteous living in God's kingdom (Isaiah 26:19; Jeremiah 31:15-17; 1 Corinthians 15:51-55; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)

    • People will know each other, just as people recognize each other on the earth today. We will build houses, and inhabit them; and plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them. (Isaiah 65:21, 22)

    • We will sing and play heavenly music (Isaiah 35:10; 51:11; Psalm 87:7; Revelation 14:2, 3)

    • We will Worship before God's throne every Sabbath (Isaiah 66:22, 23)

    • We will enjoy never-fading flowers and trees (Ezekiel 47:12; Isaiah 35:1, 2)

    • We will visit with loved ones, patriarchs, prophets, etc. (Matthew 8:11; Revelation 7:9)

    • We will realize our fondest ambitions (Psalm 37:3, 4; Isaiah 65:24)

    Care to join Debby at a place like this someday? Give yourself to Christ and it shall be done.......


    July 3, 2007

    Today, Erin was choosing the Prayer card for the funeral and she chose a picture of the Lord hugging a Believer as the Believer arrived in heaven........The Believer in the picture is hugging the Lord back.....

    Erin thought it was appropriate since her mom got to hug all family members (and friends) at the very end - -- Debby demanded that a nurse put each of her arms around the person she was hugging......... It's the first time Debby was able to hug someone.......and now we'll remember this special hug forever, every time we look at the prayer card that will be provided at the funeral....

    As family members and close family friends receive appropriate phone calls and notes expressing sorrow over our loss of Debby, the family (and adopted family members) are, for the most part, in a different place...... While the loss is real, we have all been preparing for this event for almost two months- - - we have moved from astonishment - - -to sorrow - - - to agonizing pain - - -to now, a sense of overwhelming peace and soon enough, to a place of great joy...... And we were led in all of these emotions by Debby.......

    So, don't be surprised if you happen to see family members and close friends with faces of laughter, great peace and joy - - it's where Debby has led us by the Lord's most Amazing Grace!


    July 2, 2007

    The day has arrived - -- who knows what it will hold..........

    The family and "adopted family members" arrived by 8 am to say their final good-byes...... Two empty patient rooms and the adjoining hallway outside of Debby's room were commandeered by the family to hang out in....... the area was quickly renamed the "front porch" and it held about 15 family and friends this morning - - - -

    Soon, everyone left the front porch and surrounded Debby's bed as she lie there, with a perpetual smile and a rosary in hand on top of a Butler pillow (that Katie made).....

    At about 9:30 am, the nurses began a morphine drip with the intent to take Debby into a state where she would feel no pain....... We were told that it might take a half-hour or so...........

    During the morphine drip, Debby shared some silent final words with everyone... She asked her mom to sit on the bed next to her - - - Debby said you need your mom next to you when you're feeling sick - - - but then Debby quipped - "not that she ever made me better - - but she always made me feel better inside."

    After tearful and joyful good-byes, someone in the group spotted the Butler pillow and broke out into singing the "Butler War" song ..............and everyone joined in and sang......even Debby did her best "milli vanilli" lip-sync of the tune she's sang thousands of times.................I'm sure the quiet hospital patrons and staff were enthralled with that one......

    After the raucous rendition of the Butler song ended, Debby looked to each person and moved her lips to say kind and thoughtful sentiments - - - and we waited patiently for Debby to sleep.............and soon a half hour passed.......and then an hour........ and Debby wouldn't or couldn't let go.......

    Many began filing out of the room for bathroom and drink breaks.......

    Some surmised that she had become so accustomed to medicine in her system that the current amount that was provided was ineffective........so, the doctors kept upping the dosages.......the "front porch club" started to believe this might be a long-term process.....

    And another hour passed............and Mack joked that Debby had enough morphine in her system to bring down John Belushi........ but not the strong-willed Debby........

    And another hour passed - - - so, we just all went to lunch....and Debby.......Well, she puts in her order for lunch!!!! Unbelievable! She ordered and later ate a steakburger with cheese......I guess drugs really do give you the munchies......

    So, Danny decides to take off for Chicago, as he just started a new job that previous week....... Debby hears that Danny is leaving and she breaks into tears and says "I'll never see him again..." Danny is retrieved from the parking lot and proceeds to spend more time one on one with Debby........and a few more hours pass..............

    Then Debby has everyone come back in for some more final words and a hug....... Now, Debby never gets to hug anyone as her arms don't work - - - people just hug her - - - well, Debby ordered two nurses to each take an arm and wrap them around each person that was hugging her........ Since Mack and I (both in wheelchairs) couldn't get close enough to her bed for a proper bear hug, she gave Erin and Katie a "hug by proxie" for us.........

    The afternoon continued in this fashion - - - Debby even made Father Jerry from St. Pius spend his whole day on the "front porch" waiting for her........

    Finally, Debby asked Peggy Kline if there was anyone else to hug and say goodbye to - - - and Peggy confirmed there was not - - - so Debby, in her utter state of exhaustion, concluded, "Then, I need to go to sleep".........

    And so she began to do so.........and some two hours later when the clock turned 5 pm, the nurses finally confirmed it was time to take Debby off the ventilator - - - (remember, this was supposed to all take place early in the morning!)....... Debby had finally come to terms with her decision and was in a state of no pain and was ready to go.........of course, 7 hours later than scheduled!

    The nurses took off the vent and the trach collar and minutes later the family and "newly adopted" family members came into the room....... Father Jerry prayed Psalm 23 and other words for a Christian homegoing.....then, the family watched and waited for Debby's last breath............and waited............and waited.............and guess what? ...........waited.......

    Almost 5 hours later, when what was left of the group was eating dinner in various rooms in the hospital, Nancy Dury came into the room....and started talking very loudly to Debby......................Muffy sprang off the "front porch" with eyes as wide as quarters in a panic - - and later, Muffy said, "If Nancy woke Debby up, I'd have been so upset, you'd have to put me in the room next to Mona"..........

    At about 10pm, Erin and Katie arrived back at the hospital after a short break and shower, and Katie began to panic because she couldn't find Poppi's rosary that had been given to her after Poppi passed away in November 2006...... It is one of Katie's most coveted possessions.....

    Katie was overwhelmed at the loss of the rosary; In tears, she crawled into an empty bed and sobbed uncontrollably ......

    Now, a few days earlier, Debby promised Erin and Katie that she would never leave them and there would be evidence of this; - - - - Debby said to them, "whenever you find something unexpectedly, know that it was me who helped find it or put it there for you."

    Meanwhile, a little after 10 pm, Lisa Kirk asked the family to join around Debby's bed.........Katie, in overwhelming tears because of the rosary, reluctantly joined the family around the bed.......

    In a classic case of just being a mom, Julie Dietrick kept her eyes on Katie throughout the entire day, and just then, by no coincidence, Julie remembers where Katie went earlier in the day..........So, Julie goes there and........ she finds Poppi's rosary.....

    Julie runs into Debby's room and gives the rosary to Katie, who is now in tears of joy that her treasure from Poppi had been found......

    It was 10:15; and Katie looked up at her mom in amazement, knowing Debby had just fulfilled her latest promise on earth........

    And then...........because she now proved to everyone her work on earth was done................Debby breathed her last, surrounded by Katie, Erin, Muffy and others.........

    Erin and Katie were absolutely joyful thru tears that their mom was finally out of pain........... and they said, "It's just like mom to wait for us to get to the hospital" - - "ya know, she always waited for us and she always kept her promises to us."

    What a joyful time it was at the hospital when Debby moved on to eternity.........

    In remembrance of Debby, Scripture says it best:

    • 2 Corinthians 4:16-5:8 - Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.


    June 30, 2007 - July 1, 2007

    The steady stream of visitors continues - - - and Debby is taking the time to provide each with advice, words of encouragement and ultimately tearful good-byes.....This has gone on for days and its been non-stop - - - and is absolutely welcome and so beneficial for Debby......

    The plan is on July 2, 2007 to heavily medicate Debby and then take her off the ventilator.....It is Debby's wish - - made in sound and sharp mind (and remember - -- broken and painful body......)

    And so the family waits and says good-byes.....

    Debby asked Mom, Jamie, Jenny, Danny and myself to come in so Debby and I could share the Word of God with them...... Debby started by asking a question (she can only move her lips - - she cannot speak with the trach/ventilator) or two to each person and then asked me to read Romans 10:9 - That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.......Each said they have done this and gave their word to Debby to continue in the meaning behind it...... In that regard, we'd love to have a bible study for any and all interested.......

    When Debby was moving her lips to share some more information with the group above - -- an actual audible word came out of Debby's mouth - the first in well over 2 months - - everyone in the room heard it - - and heard it absolutely clearly - - - and all of us, including Debby, were completely stunned in silence immediately after we heard it - - and that word that we each heard was "heaven" - - - and Debby said matter of factly, "God has spoken......"

    There are so many stories from these last few days - - and they are all so very precious...

    Like the Dury boys taking Debby's wheelchair out for a "test drive" in the hallways of Seton at 11 pm one night, to the chagrin of the hospital employees - - - However, none of the employees were brave enough (or perhaps dumb enough) to confront the boys - - and how could they? - - Debby was in her bad laughing and cheering them on the whole time!!......

    Debby's "neighbor" across the hall is named Margaret - - a very, very, old and sick woman..... While the hospital nurses assured us that Margaret was not in any pain, Margaret kept moaning out loud - - "help me", "get me out of here" and when words weren't available - - she just constantly groaned ......loudly......very loudly...Of course, Debby could hear her well being right across the hall - - and prior to the last 2 weeks it was very depressing for Debby...... But, since Debby made her decision to move on to eternity, she had a different take on Margaret - - first, she renamed her Mona (as in "Moan"-a) and later inquired of the nurse "Is she in pain or is she having sex?" What a wit Debby continues to have.......On Friday, Mona was to be moved to her daughter's home in order to live out her last few days......

    We are so thankful for our "new" family members - Peggy Kline, Lisa and Mike Kirk, Julie Dietrick and Nancy Dury and family - - and certainly many, many others who have been so kind to our family - - - - they have provided so much support and encouragement - - - ....... They have been so wonderful and caring to my mom and Erin and Katie.....

    There is no fear now - - no anger now - - - - only hope for what is to come for Debby...... We anxiously await her homecoming sometime soon..........


    June 29, 2007

    Debby's had a steady stream of friends stop by Seton to say their last good-byes...... It's almost surreal.....

    Debby said she wants to see Danny and Janet before she moves on to her eternal home...... (Danny and Janet arrive today in Indianapolis......)

    Sometime thereafter, perhaps Monday, Debby would be given proper medication and taken off the ventilator..... The rest is in the Lord's perfect timing.......

    Thank you all for your prayers for Debby and the family.............

    Debby is at tremendous peace with her decision and is excited to spend eternity with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

    Finally, she'll be in a place of no sorrow, no pain, no crying, no suffering, no disabilities NO WHEELCHAIRS ....and no death.........it is a place of all joy, all peace, all comfort and all praise for Christ.........

    Debby is going to her real home - - her eternal home - - - and after we overcome our own sorrow over this loss of ours, can there be any other response from us but pure joy for Debby?

    The suffering and the pain will soon be all over for Debby - - - 36 years of suffering from the effects of Muscular Dystrophy - - - -

    and don't miss this - - - - the Lord promises one day to end all suffering on this earth……

    So - - - why doesn't he just do it now?

    What's holding Him up?

    Some of us are……….

    He's holding back the curtain of the close of history so that some of you might be touched by His love, that some of you may put your trust in Him, so that some of YOU may come to a relationship with Him and spend eternity in Heaven with Him. (and our Debby)..........

    His Holy word says this:

    "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

    Please, if you haven't done so, give your whole life to Christ now - the One who made you, Blessed you and has always Loved you - - - He wants to be with you forever in Paradise -- and this can only happen if you give your life to Him - as Debby has done....

    John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

    (If you have something you'd like to share on this website, please email me at tdoyle@doz.net)


    June 28, 2007 - 9:00am

    Erin and Katie informed the family of their mom's (Debby's) wishes - - which was to not doing anything else for Debby other than to make her comfortable for her "homegoing" to Heaven.......Debby said she is done fighting and it's now time to go spend eternity in Heaven with Jody and Poppi and the saints who have given their lives to Christ and have left this world and gone to Heaven ........

    Becky and I, Erin, Katie and Nancy Aiken Dury and Timmy Dury went to Seton last night to see Debby - - - and her face was shining - - her mood was excellent she was so funny and she is totally at peace with her decision...... God has provided her an inner joy in the midst of great, great suffering.......

    Debby is prepared to leave this earth and be with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..... for eternity.......... which is the goal of each and everyone of us who have given their lives to Christ....... We sorrow for our eventual loss - - - but Debby is so excited to finally, finally, finally go to her final home.........

    Debby said this in a speech 2 years ago to a class at Bishop Chatard High School:

    • "Heaven will be far more glorious and rewarding than anything we can possibly imagine. "Not even in its wildest dreams can the heart of man begin to comprehend the marvels of God's eternal kingdom." (Acts 3:20). That's what God has planned for us. So the story of life doesn't end with death it just changes with death. Life becomes better after death. And it seems that the story of my life that Mrs. Schaffner asked me to talk about with you is far from over regardless of when I leave this earth. So when you think about your life… " think about following God's will rather you're your own, " think about turning to God rather than to drugs or alcohol in your times of need, " think about where you want to be for eternity and make the right choices to get there .... Because I want to see you all in paradise and show you all how well I can run."

    Debby is finishing her race - - - please join her (in prayer or in person) in this solemn, yet most joyful time in her life.

    She, like Paul (of the Bible), will soon earn her crown:

    2 Timothy 4:6-8 - - "6For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. 7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.


    June 27, 2007 - 8:30am

    Debby has relayed some "wishes" to her daughters, Erin and Katie, which will be shared with the rest of the family tonight at the regular Wednesday night family dinner. More to come..........


    June 26, 2007

    From Becky:

    "I just spoke to Barbara, and she said that Debby is alert and still on the vent. Her abdominal cavity is quite large right now--the good news is that it is air that is causing the swelling, not some other problem. So, they are working on that situation. She recommended that we move very quickly on doing whatever we need in order to get Debby on Medicaid. While she thinks insurance will cover the vent facility, she is not sure. The cost of the vent facility is substantially more than the cost of a skilled nursing care facility. I told her that I really wanted to go over everything with Debby before we did anything, but I need to know that Debby is mentally alert enough to get it. Barbara couldn't answer that one, and suggested that we just get moving on it. The sooner we can get Debby qualified for Medicaid, the better."


    June 25, 2007 - 3pm

    Muffy and Becky are at the hospital and Debby is awake and trying to lip-sync to them - - - but there is no way to understand what Debby's trying to say since she is now back on the ventilator (as of this morning)..........

    Debby is clearly very tired and on some major medication ........

    Debby is obviously frustrated - - as its difficult to understand Debby past the pleasantries of lip-syncing "hello Becky...."

    On a brighter note - - Jenny just arrived and decorated the walls with artwork from Ellie (7 years old) and Hannah (4 years old) - - you just have to smile when you see their art!

    On a funnier note - - Muffy may have set off a silent alarm by going thru the stairwell next to Debby's new room at Seton ........ Becky noticed cops driving quickly in from St. Vincent's (across the road) - - - and Becky thinks Muffy was the culprit.....Muffy's clearly back to her old Slovanian ways!


    June 25, 2007 - 2pm

    Katie Langsenkamp left for home (Florida) this morning......

    Also, this morning, we received disheartening news - - - - - Debby was put back on the ventilator - -

    Although we expected this would happen sometime - -- we certainly didn't expect it today............

    This morning, Debby was not making sense in what she was lip-syncing (Debby is not able to talk) so the hospital did a blood-gas test (carbon dioxide level test) and determined the carbon dioxide in her blood was too high (carbon dioxide is what you breath out - - and its poisonous to the body - - - and Debby is not able to do that - so the vent is required).......

    The staff thinks it may be difficult to wean her off the vent..... Lisa Kirk thinks Debby will be on the ventilator a few days before she is lucid (awake) enough to respond to the situation......And then, we'll go from there.........

    Barbara Carter (Debby's Case Manager) feels that it's best to look at a "Vent facility" as opposed to a "skilled nursing facility" whenever Debby is ready to move on from Seton (the hospital where Debby currently is).....

    More to come......

    Pray for Debby !


    June 24, 2007

    Debby had a great day today - - - - a number of friends and family came to see Debby today and Debby was wonderful...... Of course, Katie Langsenkamp (Katie Lang) is a huge reason why she's doing so well - - - Katie Lang's visit from Florida and the care and attention she's given Debby has been absolutely phenomenal - - Katie has such a servant's heart - we are so blessed to have her as part of the family !

    Every day, Muffy (Debby's mom) is at the hospital rubbing Debby's feet and taking care of Debby, also .....Muffy recently (November 2006) lost her husband of 51 years (Jim Doyle) to cancer - - and yet, Muffy never misses spending the day with Debby......

    Katie Lang and Muffy are role models by their actions - - - by showing such love and devotion to their family, we are assured that the next generation of Doyle's and Langsenkamp's have received ample evidence of the importance of serving the family........

    In addition to all the regulars who are always hanging out with Debby (like Lisa Kirk and Peggy Kline), Debby had another visitor - Helen Collins - a person of deep faith who prayed at Debby's bedside - - and also had gifts for Erin and Katie .... Helen bought two blessed rosaries from Fatima (in Portugal) for the two girls to have......Helen gave Debby a blessed medal from the Pope and she "loaned" a "Divine Mercy" picture of Christ and put it in view of Debby (who is bed ridden)......... Debby's face lit-up when she saw the familiar picture..........Helen prayed fervently by Debby's bedside for God's will to be evident for Debby's life - - - Helen prayed for a complete healing for Debby also...... Her visit was truly a blessing to Debby and Helen said , "Debby will receive the grace of Christ to endure this trial...."


    June 22, 2007

    Katie Langsenkamp (Debby's cousin from Ft. Lauderdale, FLA.) came into town to see Debby.... And all the Doyle's wanted to talk about was the "Lang" (Langsenkamp) girls........ We were so blessed to meet, for the first time, Stevie's kids over the Indy 500 weekend (Laura and Amy)........ What wonderful kids - - - and we needed updates from Katie on the 2 girls - - - and all the stories of their Midwest trip - - - we heard Laura took over 430 pictures!

    We are so blessed to have all the girls as family - - - Emily and Annie and Jimmy's kids (we've got to meet them also)- - - we can't hear enough about them !!! The whole "Lang" family is always in our prayers......


    June 18, 2007

    Erin, Muffy, and Jenny have contributed the following - - - - Debby has had good days every day since Sunday. Debby was in a fabulous and talkative mood on Monday, and was asking Muffy lots of questions about her (Muffy's) childhood. Today, Jenny said that Debby was sitting in a recliner chair (not her wheelchair). Her mood is good, and she is very excited that her cousin, Katie, will be coming to visit her this weekend!! Erin and I will be meeting with an Elder Law attorney this afternoon. I met with one yesterday, and left the meeting with a completely scrambled brain! The good news is that there are legal and quick options to manage Debby's money in such a way to get her to qualify for Medicaid. Hopefully, the attorney today will be just as optimistic.

    Prayer is powerful - - Please continue to pray for Debby.........

    • "“Man is at his greatest and highest when upon his knees he comes face to face with God.” D. Martin LLoyd Jones

    • “What a man or woman is alone on his/her knees before God, that he/she is - - and no more….. ” McShane

    • "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thes 5:16-18

    • "The greatest hindrance to prayer is not lack of technique, lack of knowledge or even lack of enthusiasm for the Lord’s work - - but a lack of faith…. " Unknown


    June 17, 2007

    Celebrated Katie's (Debby's daughter) 17th birthday on Saturday with the family, which of course Debby could not attend.... It makes Debby so sad that she can't be included - - and sadder still that Debby's is not orchestrating such an event..... Her kids (Erin and Katie) are her passion............ Met with Debby's doctor today - - she said Debby is improving, her vitals are stable and the medicine prescribed is addressing her infection.... Debby is experiencing terrible stomach nausea today, but one nurse felt like this may be in part due to Debby beginning to eat normal food again....... Debby was alert, responsive and conversant (though you have to read her lips)..... She had a lot of visitors today and truly loves the company........ Debby asked everyone to pray for her; pray for the Lord's will to be clear to Debby and that she follow His will; pray for peace and comfort for Debby; pray for an answer to her depression; pray for answers on her move from Seton to a nursing home (no new news on this issue) and pray for wisdom, patience and love from the doctors and nurses at Seton........

    At Seton, family and friends of Debby have met alot of wonderful people - doctors nurses, other patients and family members of other patients......On many occasions, I've had the chance to meet and chat with one very old lady who "lived" across the hall from Debby....... On Monday, June 18, 2007, this lady will leave Seton and be transferred to St. Vincent's Hospice..... Pray for her and her family as she will soon "go home" to be with the Lord.....("John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.")

    Remember Paul's words from the Bible in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 - - (his words are so appropriate in Debby's case in that Debby is weak and tired - - both physically and mentally - - and in that condition, the Lord can be strong through her......):

    7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


    June 15, 2007

    Update - - all of the nursing homes applied for have turned down Debby. Barbara said she will remain at Seton until another alternative can be found........ Tough news - - but again - support that she just cant come home and have reliable service at this point......


    June 14, 2007

    We are still in the process of finding a nursing home that will take Debby as a patient. One company that has facilities all over Indy declined to take Debby because of the amount of care that she would require. (This is fairly strong evidence that she could not receive proper care at home - - I mean, there are places of business that are designed to work with long-term care patients that believe Debby's required care is more than even they can handle!..... ). This is important - - - Barbara did state that it is not uncommon for patients to be declined by nursing homes - - happens all the time according to Barbara.......

    . Becky said, "Another company looked at Debby last week, and I'm not exactly sure what the final determination was from them. Their facilities are located in Carmel, Anderson, Avon, and the South side. Obviously, if they do take Debby, we desperately need to be able to place her in the Carmel location. I hope to talk to Barbara tomorrow (Thursday) to see what that company decided."

    As is common knowledge, Debby does not want to go to a nursing home facility....... From a cost and care perspective, we have no choice...... Debby has been clear to all of us the past 2 weeks that she is tired of fighting........

    2 quotes to think about:

    "A sick bed teaches more than any sermon." Thomas Watson

    "What about the person who seldom, if ever, ventures outside her apartment? The prisoner in isolation? Loneliness mixed with affliction is a dangerous potion. Yet, are we ever truly alone? People may not be noticing, but the spiritual world is. Angels, along with powers and principalities in the heavenly realms, are watching, listening and learning. Angels - even demons - are intensely interested in the thoughts and affections of every human being. The life of the most insignificant man is a battlefield on which the mightiest forces of the universe converge in warfare - this elevates the status of the lowliest and least person on earth. There are reasons for our sufferings; for us, for others, for the glory of God, and for the heavenly hosts." Joni Eareckson Tada


    June 7, 2007

    An email from Becky: "Medicaid is not going to be easy to get because of income restrictions. Michelle Lehmann recommended that we get an Elder Attorney to help us figure out how to legally protect money so that she will qualify for Medicaid. I've left a message with Rob Doyle to see if he can refer an Elder Attorney. Erin will get her work schedule for the next week later this afternoon, so once she knows her schedule, we will figure out when we can go back down to the Social Security Office. Michelle Lehmann was blown away by our family. She usually deals with families who are fighting and pulling power plays, and she couldn't believe that Debby was surrounded by so many family members and friends who were just trying to help."


    June 6, 2007

    A big meeting was held today for Debby and alot of folks attended - - Barbara Carter (case mgr), Stacy Nicholson (social services), Amy Gaines (nurse) and Michelle Lehman (Medicaid asst.) and alot of family and friends - Mom, Erin and Katie (Debby's daughters), Jamie, Jenny, Becky, Ellie T. Walker and I (Debby's family), and Lisa Kirk, Peggy Klein and Julie Dietrick (friends).....

    couple points on financing - -

    • social security is probably not available since Debby didn't pay-in as a federal government employee.

    • insurance doesn't include a "skilled nursing home benefit" and that's what Debby needs

    • CICOA could pay approximately $1,500/month (the equivalent of 1 hr. per day for a month)

    • Medicaid - is the key - - with the help of Michelle and an Elder care attorney (to be determined), Medicaid is a financing option we may have

    • Medicare - is available to Debby in November - - barb mentioned that it could be retroactive - which needs to be researched.

    couple points on a skilled nursing home - -

    • a doctor is required to visit every 30 days - - at Seton, the doctor is required to visit every day

    • costs vary, but may average about $1,500 per month (if Debby went home after Seton, the cost could be $8,500 per week - but more importantly than cost is the fact that no reliable system exists that gives anyone comfort that people will show up !!

    the need.....

    • the key issue is that Debby's trach needs suctioning - - and she needs it immediately when she needs it......

    • an RN or LPN is required to do this suctioning.....if we utilize an Agency - - - if it's at home - whoever is available can do it.....

    • if the suctioning isn't performed quickly - problems will result - - major and life threatening issues....

    the desire....

    • Debby wants to go home - - she is opposed to a nursing home type facility....Unfortunately, we cannot get the care in place at home that quickly...... Seton has received assurance that Debby can stay there another 11 days - but after that, who knows? As far as Seton is concerned, they have met the goals of the program - - Debby is off the vent...... Seton, being a non-profit, must make certain that accommodation is being made at the next facility and will not release Debby until they have met this goal.....


    June 4, 2007

    Email from Jamie - - (Debby's sister)

    Hi guys! I just got back from seeing Debby - she looks great by the way - and Barbara Carter was there discussing how to get Debby home!!!! Anyway, she would like to meet with everyone on Weds. morning June 6th at 9:30am in Debby's room - she wants to inform the family what steps she has already taken and who she has contacted in trying to get Deb home - We are looking at 24/7 care - Erin - could you please notify Joe, Katie, and Lisa Kirk about this meeting and see if they can join us - and along that vein if there is anyone else anyone can think of that should be there please just invite them to come Also, if anyone is going out to see Deb, she would like to put in a standing order for Steak and Shake - she likes a single with cheese and pickle, and a Jr.. chocolate shake! Thanks Jamie Ismail


    June 3, 2007

    Today, Lisa Kirk, Peggy Kline (sp?), my wife Becky and I had a wonderful time with Debby..... Debby looked great and was very "communicative" (you had to read her lips - but Debby had some wonderful comments - - she kept us all in "stitches")..... It was amazing to see Debby so responsive - - - what a blessing !!

    "Persistence in prayer is a mark of one who is faithful". - John Calvin.......... So - - keep praying fro Debby !!


    June 1, 2007 - An update from Debby's dear friend Lisa Kirk:

    "As of last night Debby is still off the vent since Sat. If she continues to do so well, she will be able to be discharged before long. Barb, the case manager is (and has been) checking to see how her home care needs can be met. Again the problem is that her insurance doesn't cover that service, and as you know home nursing is very costly. They did determine that her vocal cords will not recover so she won't be able to speak. They did a swallow test today so she may be able to have more than water and ice soon. Take Care!" - Lisa

  • May 30, 2007 - Debby has been off the ventilator since Saturday morning.....

    And today - - for the first time in 2 months - - - she ate something - - some applesauce....

    More good news - - Debby has not been able to speak since she's been in the hospital - so to understand her - you have to read her lips. We were told her vocal chords were paralyzed, but today, the speech therapist said the vocal chords are only weak - and not paralyzed........ Three praises and answers to prayers!


    May 27-28, 2007 - Debby received "Indy 500" visitors from Illinois and Florida today - - - from Illinois, her brother Danny and his wife Janet, and from Florida - - our cousins the Langsenkamps!! Kurt, his daughter Emily; Uncle Hank; Stevie and his daughters Laura and Amy....... What a blessing to have the "Langs" as family and that they would take time from their busy schedule to visit!

    Debby's been off the ventilator 2 days -- which tires her out and affects her mood........... She is making excellent progress - - -but she needs to be convinced of this - - - and it's hard for Debby to see this in a depressed state:

    Reminds me of this Scripture - Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."


    May 24, 2007 - The goal for Debby is to wean her off the ventilator, which basically performs the function of breathing for her. The longer she can stay off the ventilator, the more her own body is required to perform the breathing function. However, there are other factors affecting her body strength -- - for Debby, it's anxiety and depression. For anxiety, Debby is being prescribed Ativan and for the depression, she's receiving Cymbalata. Both of these drugs are negatively affecting her body's ability to wean off the ventilator.

    Ativan causes drowsiness in up to 75% of the people taking it. Side effects may include fatigue, memory impairment, nausea, vomiting, constipation, and blurred vision. For Debby, the more Ativan, the more she sleeps deeply - - requiring the ventilator - - - The more she requires the ventilator, the less her body is being pushed to breath on its own.......At this point, doctors have determined that she will receive Ativan 3 times a day at a set time each day, and no more than that.......

    Cymbalta offers relief from both the emotional and painful physical symptoms associated with depression.

    So - - the doctors are determining the best approach for all the medications - - - as well as physical, speech, and spiritual therapy. With all these approaches, Debby is showing improvement - - however, she's seriously depressed and is need of convincing she's improving daily.


    May 22, 2007 - Each of the past few days, Debby has been transferred to her wheelchair and taken outside to enjoy the sunshine....... On the latest day, she spent 45 minutes outside! This is tremendous progress and, yet, Debby's depression continues.....


    May 11, 2007 - Debby was moved from Community North Hospital to Seton Specialty Hospital! ...... Seton opened on May 8, 2007............. Seton Specialty Hospital is a long-term acute care hospital ministry with the following Mission Statement:

    • Rooted in the loving ministry of Jesus as healer, we commit ourselves to serving all persons with special attention to those who are poor and vulnerable. Our Catholic health ministry is dedicated to spiritually centered, holistic care, which sustains and improves the health of individuals and communities. We are advocates for a compassionate and just society through our actions and our words.

    . What a provision from God ! The facility is wonderful as are the nurses and workers.........We are hopeful the therapy prescribed will eventually result in Debby not requiring a ventilator in the near future........ Pray for God's will for Debby and for peace, patience and relief from the depression........


    May 2, 2007 - Debby was put on a "trach" ventilator -- Seetracheotomy "trach" tube for a definition of the purpose of this tube.....The Doctor warned the family that Debby may not be strong enough to come out of the anasthesia necessary to install the trach tube and he further warned that she may never come off the trach tube.......This was a very nervous day for the Doyle family......but Debby came through the procedure - - - with yet another tube in her body ! She did much better than the doctor's predicted and we praise God for yet another provision!

  • April 29, 2007 - Today, Debby was put on a ventilator, defined below:

    • A ventilator is a machine that helps a patient to breathe. Patients are usually placed on a ventilator because of a medical problem that makes it hard for them to breathe well on their own. While on the ventilator, the body is able to rest so that it can heal. The ventilator can help with breathing or totally breathe for the patient.

    • The ventilator brings oxygen into the lungs and helps get rid of carbon dioxide from the patient’s body. Sometimes a patient may become dependent on a ventilator because of his or her medical problems. This may make it difficult to get the patient off the ventilator. When the patient’s medical problems have improved and he or she is well enough, “weaning” will begin. Weaning is the process of getting the patient off the ventilator.


    April 24, 2007 - Extensive testing resulted in the need to drain Debby's lungs of excess fluid............In addition, she probably had Pleurisy - - - meaning inflammation of the pleura, the membrane that covers the lungs and lines the inside of the chest cavity.

    Here's a quick lesson on "fluid in the lungs":

    • Lungs (there are two) are normally air-filled; their main function being to take oxygen from the atmosphere, exchange it with carbon dioxide, and transfer the fresh oxygen to the blood for transport to all the cells in the body.

    • The lungs are spongy (comprised of multiple small sacs known as alveoli) organs located in the chest behind the rib cage. When fluid builds up in the alveoli, it interferes with the normal oxygen intake -- causing severe disturbances in body function.

      • Debby had the following symptoms - - shortness of breath, gasping for air, weakness, fatigue, anxiety and restlessness, a pounding heart, chest pain, continued swelling (fluid build up) in the feet and ankles.....

    The fluid from her lungs was drained - -- and problems persisted.......Discussions of requiring a ventilator to help Debby breath were held.........


    April 20, 2007 - Debby dialed "911" today as she could'nt breath.................. The ambulance arrived and took her to Community North hospital........ While Debby pleaded not to be kept in the hospital over the weekend, her request was denied.... She was admitted and the testing began.........It was a real long night - - - I think Mack Doyle got home about 1am that night, waiting for Debby's test results!




Funeral:

  • Obituary - Debby's obituary on 7/4/07 and 7/5/07 in the Indianapolis Star


    Deborah Doyle McCalley 51, of Indianapolis. Departed this life July 2, 2007. She was born December 13, 1955 in Indianapolis to James B. and Dolores "Muffy" Dezelan Doyle. Debby was a graduate of Butler University and a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma Sorority. She was Alumnae of the Year at Bishop Chatard High School in 2006. She was in research and development for the IRS for 26 years, retiring in 2004. Debby was a member of St. Pius X Catholic Church, and very involved in the St. Pius X and Bishop Chatard High School communities. She was the loving mother of Erin and Katie McCalley. She is survived by her mother, Dolores "Muffy" Dezelan Doyle; brothers, Mack Doyle, Dan (Janet) Doyle and Tim (Becky) Doyle; sisters, Jamie (Ahmed) Ismail and Jenny (Chris) Walker; nieces, Ellie Walker and Hannah Ismail. Debby was preceded in death by her father, James B. Doyle and sister Jody (George) Dolen. Funeral service 9:30 a.m. Friday, July 6th in Feeney-Hornak Keystone Mortuary followed by Mass of Christian Burial at 10:00 a.m. in St. Pius X Catholic Church.. Visitation will be from 3 – 8 p.m. Thursday at the mortuary. Memorial contributions may be made to The Erin and Katie McCalley Angel Fund co Tim Doyle, 6280 Lancaster Place, Zionsville, IN 46077.

  • Bible Readings - how appropriate these readings were.....

    First Reading - Ecclesiastes 3:1-9

    A Time for Everything

    1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.



    Second Reading - 2 Timothy 4:6-8; 17-18

    6For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. 7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

    17But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. 18The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

  • Funeral program - For the Mass on July 6, 2007

  • Funeral handout - A handout at the funeral of a prayer and a speech!

  • Eulogy 1 - from Debby's daughter Erin

  • Eulogy 2 - from Debby's daughter Katie

  • Prayer Card - The absolutely beautiful prayer card -check it out!


Debby receives an "Alumni of the Year Award" from Bishop Chatard High School (Indpls, IN)

On March 26, 2006, Bishop Chatard High School hosted its 13th annual Achievement Awards where Debby received the Alumni Achievement Award for 2006:Peggy Kline's speech on behalf of Debby on receiving the Alumni of the Year Award


I first met Debby McCalley in the fall of my sophomore year here at Bishop Chatard. She was a junior.

The first thing I noticed about her was not her disability, but her leadership and enthusiasm for this school and her classmates.

Today, I know that same person. Her leadership and enthusiasm has remained unchanged throughout the years despite the trials and tribulations she has experienced. If anything, her zest for life and service has grown and continues to grow each day.

Although the mission statement of Bishop Chatard has changed over the years, the idea has always been the same: to develop the academic, spiritual, physical, and social potential of its students within a community rooted in Catholic teachings and values.

As a student, an alumna, a volunteer, a supporter, and a parent of Bishop Chatard High School, Debby Doyle McCalley has never failed to live up to the mission of the school. Her leadership began as a student in the 1970’s but has grown and extended into her role as a parent and volunteer.

A few weeks ago John Schaunessy wrote and article for the Criterion on Debby’s role as a leader on the sophomore retreats. Debby’s daily life appears challenging and overwhelming to most of us, yet in her sophomore retreat talk she explains that she has been given a wonderful life. She admits that at times she, like each of us, has questioned her faith in God.

Many years ago, she once asked God why he would plague her and her brothers and sisters with such a difficult disease. She even prayed for him to take the disease away. God answered her prayers, and while it was not the answer she prayed for she was willing to embrace it nonetheless. She realized she was concentrating on the negatives and had been overlooking all the positive things in her life.

Debby is a lifelong member of St. Pius X parish. After attending grade school at St. Pius X, she entered Bishop Chatard in the fall of 1970. She graduated in 1974 and went on to continue her studies as a business and finance major at Butler University.

She worked for the IRS for twenty seven years in research, taxpayer service, auditing, personnel and program analysis before retiring in 2004. She is one of the brightest, most articulate people I know and she has been able to use her intelligence to help others.

The most positive thing about Debby’s life is her family. She is the oldest of six brother and sisters. She recounts the days growing up on Cricklewood Road as the most beloved a child could experience. She has two of the most beautiful young daughters here at Bishop Chatard. Erin is a senior headed to Purdue next year and Katie is a freshman. As a mother I have always admired her parenting skills. She has always put Erin and Katie ahead of herself. The unconditional love she has shown them and the strong Catholic morals and values she has instilled in them are evident in both of her daughters. She has demanded of them the perfection she so easily demonstrates with her own life. Erin and Katie have fulfilled her dreams. They are sensitive, caring girls with Debby’s passion for family, friends and Bishop Chatard.

Her passion is and always has been toward the youth of the community. She became involved in athletics and youth ministry long before her children reached the age of participation. She has given a significant amount of her time and talent to St. Pius youth ministry and athletics as a mentor, coach, and supporter. She followed this call to service to Bishop Chatard when her Erin began as a freshman. She has been present at an innumerable amount of sporting events and extra-curricular activities.

Her dedication is evident when she weathers the hardest rain and coldest nights to cheer on the football team. She even created a room in her house with a wall dedicated to the youth she has so avidly served. She has opened her heart and her door to so many St. Pius and Bishop Chatard students as well as friends of Katie and Erin, friends and classmates of her own, and everyone in between. She invites anyone who enters her home to sign his or her name, in addition to their school and year of graduation, on a wall with a Trojan head on it. The one hundred plus signatures on this wall symbolize her love of each person and acceptance of his or her background as she did not limit it to Bishop Chatard students. Her current volunteer commitments to Bishop Chatard personify its mission, as she helps the students academically, spiritually, physically, and socially.

She helps Raylene Carr with athletics and Mary Schaffner with campus ministry, but her unofficial commitment is to the students. She helps students academically by tutoring for tests, helping with projects, and assisting with SAT preparation. I’ll never forget when my daughter Anna had trouble grasping the concept of genetics in 7th grade. Debby sat with Anna at a CYO volleyball game and explained her genetic disease, Muscular Dystrophy. Anna learned about more than a complicated analysis of X’s and Y’s that make up genetics, she learned about life – the challenges and the joys, the tragedies and the triumphs. She also witnessed how an individual with odds of one in ten million chooses to deal with the plan God has for each of us. She helps the students spiritually by attending sophomore retreats and sharing her story. A story that is both challenging and rewarding to tell and hear. She helps the students physically through athletics. She helps in the athletic office with paper work and computer techniques, but she is also a fan of every Bishop Chatard athlete. She helps the students socially as a mentor and a friend. Friends of Erin and Katie rely on Debby as a mentor.

After a visit with Debby, every kid leaves feeling uplifted, loved, and confident. Johnny Dury finds it hard to grasp the words to describe visits with Debby. He settles on the fact that, “Well, she’s just inspirational!”

Debby is a member of the Class of 1974 from Bishop Chatard, a class that has produced some of the finest individuals in our community. They have given back to BCHS, and Debby is a leader among them. Many of them have received this Award and now Debby joins them with this honor. To quote Johnny Dury again, because I so strongly agree – “She’s just inspirational!”

Congratulations Debby!

Debby gives two speeches to the Sophomore class of Bishop Chatard High School (Indpls, IN)- one in September 2003 and one in September 2006



Debby Doyle McCalley gave two speeches Bishop Chatard high school students in 2003 and 2006. Debby was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy in 1971. As a result, at the time of the speeches, she was in a wheelchair and suffering the results of this terrible disease. Debby has experienced so many hardships in her life, as detailed in the speeches atached. Because of these hardships, she has accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. Her words will undoubtedly be remembered by these students for the rest of their lives. Read Debby's speeches and be encouraged in the midst of suffering of the wonderful promises of eternal life with Christ! On July 2, 2007, the disease "won" and Debby passed away and went home to be with the Lord..........

  • Good Morning. I am Debby McCalley and I have been asked by Mrs. Schaffner and Sr. Kathleen to speak to you on a couple of topics the first which is family. Now I’m not a professional speaker and I speak very softly so please let me know if I have to speak louder or maybe you would prefer I speak softer so you can get in that much needed morning nap. Either one is fine, just let me know.

    Family, what a topic.

    It used to be that a family was pretty easy to define, the Mom, the Dad, a couple of kids and maybe the grandparents or a special pet. But these days with so many marriages, divorces and remarriages within some families, many of us find ourselves with stepmothers or fathers and step or half brothers and sisters it sometimes gets complicated. Then, of course families change with each birth or death. It seems that families are constantly being redefined and realigned. The people in our families change too over time. Or maybe we change how we see them. When we were young, our family members were our best friends not to mention the people responsible for our survival. As babies, we were helpless and counted on our families to provide what we needed, food, shelter, attention etc. As we get a little older, things begin to change.

    I have a very good friend who is in the second grade at St. Pius. He is an adorable boy with some very definite ideas on a number of topics. His name is Billy Hoffman. Just to give you an idea of who Billy Hoffman is, he told me that for Halloween he is going to be a Ninja with two swords (not just one sword but tow) and he’s going to ride his bike around the neighborhood so he can get the candy faster. What a character! Billy is also very smart and often tells me things I never knew. One time he told me that the leaves on the trees change colors in the fall because the trees are cold blooded. One time I asked Billy who his best friends were and even though he knows plenty of kids from school and from the neighborhood, he rattled off the names of his brothers and sisters. I then asked him when he gets mad ho does he get mad at and predictably, he gave me those same names. I think Billy is right. It seems we go through a stage where our family members are nothing but irritants sent by God to make our lives miserable and embarrass us at every turn.

    I grew up with 6 brothers and sisters, all of them younger than me.

    My first brother, Mack, was a know it all. We were always in competition and he never quit until he won. When he didn’t win, he kept saying he did just to drive me crazy. Once I got so mad at him that I made a sign with meanest thing I could think of on it and hung it on his door. It said “mack stinks” followed by several exclamation points for emphasis. When my mom saw the sign she said that she understood that I was upset but told me when I write someone’s name the first letter should be capitalized. I told her I knew that but I was so mad that he only deserved small letters. Mack, who by the way was too young to read, remained totally oblivious of the fact he was not awarded a capital letter at the beginning of his name.

    My next brother, Danny, was a total “grump”, he didn’t like anything. I remember one day walking outside just after the Department of Transportation had put warning signs in our neighborhood to encourage drivers to reduce their speed and seeing Danny rocking the sign in our yard back and forth trying to take it down. I asked Danny what he was doing and he said the sign was a lie. The sign read slow children and Danny said that the fat kid in the red house was a little slow but the rest of us could beat those guys in a race any day. From that time on, every time the Department of Transportation replaced the slow children sign, Danny had it down in 24 hours.

    Timmy was an angelic child. In never remember him crying or fussing, although I’m sure he did. One year, sometime in December when Timmy was about five years old, I remember misplacing a half bottle of my favorite perfume. I knew my sisters hadn’t borrowed it because they were too young and I knew my mother hadn’t borrowed it because she hated the smell (although there was always the possibility that she “accidentally” tossed it) and I was sure either I had done something with it or one of my brothers had broken it and was afraid to tell. Christmas day rolled around and there were what seemed like hundreds of gifts under our tree. There was one gift for me that wasn’t too professionally wrapped and didn’t say who it was from. When I opened the gift, I found the half bottle of my favorite perfume. I looked around the room and Timmy was beaming with joy. That year, all of the family members (except Timmy) opened wonderful gifts that were exact duplicates of things they had been missing in previous weeks. My mother got a lovely little statue and one brother got a 45 record. Although he couldn’t afford to buy presents, Timmy made sure everyone got a gift he knew they would love.

    Jody was the cheerleader in the family. She was even a cheerleader here at Chatard. She was beautiful with a quick, ready smile and shiny blue eyes. She was funny, popular and a real joy to be with. The party didn’t start until Jody arrived. She was never very interested in school but knew all of the gossip from the social scene. I clearly remember her doing round off back handsprings everywhere, talking on the phone constantly, loving being in the spotlight, and making everyone laugh or at least smile when they saw her.

    Jamie was a quiet child. I see her in family pictures but I hardly remember her being around. She was kind and accepting, silent and unassuming. She had no need to be in the spotlight; in fact, you often forgot she was around. She made no waves, caused no trouble and demanded no attention.

    Then there was Jenny. When Jenny was born we were all hoping for a dog but got a sister instead. As you can imagine, being the youngest, she was spoiled rotten but, none the less, the joy of our lives. She was like a real live doll for the girls and the subject of human experiments for the boys (lets see how many times we can poke her before she calls Mom). She was loud, funny, cute and when Jenny was around, everyone knew it.

    Now as an adult I look back on this family of brothers and sisters and realize that I have a different perception of who they are.

    For example my brother Mack, previously spelled with no capital letters, is one of my closest friends. Because he too is in a wheelchair, we are able to discuss things I can’t talk about with others because he knows just what I’m saying. His little contests were what gave me my strength and perseverance which today I couldn’t survive without. He is a great friend, a trustworthy confidante, a person of great character, and a constant reminder to keep up the persistent fight. I now often spell his name with all capital letters.

    Danny, the grump, is one of the most giving people I know. After he makes a trip here from his home in Chicago he probably needs a few days off because he spends most of his time serving those of us in the family who are handicapped. He is always doing yard work, hanging pictures, moving furniture or providing some type of manual labor for those of us who are unable to do it ourselves. In a conversation, Danny once told me that he feels he has the responsibility to care for each of us that are handicapped when we are unable to care for ourselves. He pointed out to me that of the first five children born in our family, he was the only one without Muscular Dystrophy and that God arranged it that way so there would be one person left to care for the others. He is a remarkable man but still refuses to be referred to as “slow”.

    Timmy didn’t change much. He is a man of deep faith and still finds no greater jot than making others happy. He is likely the one that makes the highest salary in the family but predictably is ever able to find someone who needs it more and gives his earnings to them. He too has Muscular Dystrophy but has such a manner about him that you never think of him as handicapped. He is a mentor to all who are physically handicapped and when you speak to him, he uncovers the hope and love in your heart.

    Jody had a very rough life. Not only did she have Muscular Dystrophy but Multiple Sclerosis as well. She was unable to walk and eventually unable to see, to talk and to eat. She passed away last November and I miss her terribly. I will always remember her beautiful smile and her sparkling eyes. I pray that she is doing round off back handsprings for God and the angels and I can’t wait to see her again.

    Jamie, you remember the quiet one. Well not anymore. She has a high position with a national company and runs the Sales Department. She has several people working for her and she directs the operations. She is responsible for more things than I can count and exceeds a remarkable number of goals each year. She is a remarkable leader. Her role in the family changed too. She is the one who plans and hosts most of the family gatherings and is the glue that keeps us together. Who would have ever thought that the quiet child because a creative and very successful leader?

    Jenny, the baby, is probably still spoiled. Some things never change. No seriously, Jenny is the one who drops by or checks on me daily to see if I need anything. Without her I would be forced to give up my independence. She makes it possible for me to live in my own home with my daughters because I know I can depend on her to do whatever needs to be done. It must be difficult to always be on call but Jenny does it willingly and without remorse or complaint.

    It took me a long time to see the real character in each of my siblings but now each one of them is not only a part of my family but one of my best friends. They are each there in a different way to help me in my journey and I hope that I am helping them in their journey too. I realize God knew what he was doing when he put me in this family and it had nothing to do with irritating or embarrassing me but with making me a better person and preparing me to do his will. I’m glad God didn’t make me an only child all those times I asked him to. He was right. He is always right and my family, just like yours, is an important influence on the person I am.

    The first time I realized the importance of my family was when I was in the hospital dealing with some complication from this disease. When I awoke, the faces of most of my brothers and sisters were looking back at me and those that weren’t were on the phone. Each of these people had taken time out of their own lives to be with me when I was having trouble. Who could ask for better friends!!

    I have referred to my disease several times and thought you might like to know a little more about it. I have Muscular Dystrophy. It’s a progressive disease, which means it will continue to get worse, where my muscles continue to degenerate until they no longer exist. Without muscles it will be impossible for me to walk, use my arms, hold my head up or even sit up. It also means I will have trouble with my circulation, so cuts will not heal, and I will be very cold most of the time and that my heard and lungs will no longer function properly. In fact, most people with this disease eventually die of respiratory complications or simply can’t get enough air. I got the disease in the eighth grade. Before I got it, I was a pretty good athlete but found my ability to run or jump quickly disappeared. Bt the time I was a sophomore, I had great difficulty climbing stairs and walking long distances. It wasn’t until my sophomore year that the doctors could tell me for certain what was wrong.

    As you can imagine, when I found out I cried and prayed to God to take it away. I couldn’t imagine what I had done to deserve this. When the disease didn’t go away, I figured God wasn’t listening and didn’t care about me and I put him and my faith on the shelf and tried to live the rest of my life as best I could.

    Several years later, in college, the disease began to worsen and I found I needed a cane and a wheelchair for long distances. I prayed to God again asking him to take this away and let me be normal but after weeks of praying I still had the disease and gave up on God a second time. I put him back on the shelf and muddled through the next several years the best I could feeling very alone and very desperate.

    The years went on and I got married and had two beautiful children but shortly after the birth of the second child, I was faced with a divorce. I was terrified but decided to try God one more time but this time I asked for guidance and strength to handle these difficult times. I felt a burden lift off of my shoulders and I realized God had been there all along but I wasn’t asking for the strength, faith and love to handle these trials but for him to remove the trials. It was kind of like Christ in the garden of Gethsemane when he asked God to take the cup from him but then said “your will be done”. What had taken Christ a matter of seconds took me half a lifetime.

    It became clear that we all have trials and they are given to us to allow our faith to grow.

    God has allowed them for a reason but if we ask he will get us through them and allow us inner peace. When I knew I was going to speak to you guys I asked my friend Billy Hoffman what I should tell you about being in a wheelchair and he said “oh that’s easy.” “Tell them how neat it is getting to sit around and watch TV and play Nintendo because you don’t have to do anything everyone else does it for you.” “And tell them how you can go real fast in your wheelchair and you don’t even have to pedal, that’s so sweet.” You know difficult situations like mind take on a new meaning when you view them from a different perspective.

    I mean I do get the best parking at the malls and when to Trojan football team plays for state in the Hoosier dome, I have awesome seats. But beside that I have the best friends in the world because the help me all of the time with no expectation of repayment and I get unique opportunities to speak to a group of students about faith and family.

    I know now that I have been blessed with opportunities that I would have never had if I was not handicapped. I know it sounds strange but I’m very happy where I am and feel I am truly fortunate. I do have to say though that I have not done it alone. My family has been by my side through the good times and the bad. My friends too and even you guys. I recognize several faces of people that have held doors for me, picked up things I’ve dropped or have let me go first in lines. They may not take much effort but they are truly appreciated and I thank each of you.

    If you have gotten nothing else out of this talk, I pray that you don’t make the same mistakes I did. Make sure you take the time to realize the value of your family, no matter how big, small or unusual and realize each one is an individual who plays an important role in your life. They are the people who will always be there. And make sure that you don’t ever put God on a shelf for a later time. Don’t try to second guess him or to understand why things are as they are because you will drive yourself nuts. Just let him into your life and follow him with faith and love. His will is going to be done and it’s your job to fulfill your role in that plan whatever it is. Remember Jesus said the greatest commands are to love your God and love your neighbor. You won’t do either well if you are concentrating on yourself and what you need and what you want. Rather focus on God’s will and your neighbors needs for that is the only way to love and true happiness which is what we are all ultimately seeking. I thank you for allowing me to be with you today.

  • Good morning. My name is Debby McCalley. Not too many years ago, … who am I kidding… it was many years ago, I was where you are a sophomore at BCHS, although we just called it Chatard back then. Well, I'm back again today because Mrs. Schaffner asked me to talk to you about life. And mine is the only one I know much about, so here goes.

    We usually think of life as the period of time spent on Earth between birth and death. It averages about 25,732 days. Some of the days are better than others. The days are full of trials, successes and failures. Some are lonely, some are sad and some are happy. Each day is a little different than the one before and is shaped by the choices we make.

    Some things happen regardless of our choices. When I was a sophomore, just 16 years old, I noticed that I had more trouble walking than my friends; my parents took me to Minnesota to a large hospital called Mayo Clinic over Thanksgiving break to discover why I couldn't walk well or climb stairs. I found out I had a degenerative muscle disease called Muscular Dystrophy. With MD the muscle in your body turns to fat and dies. That means that anything you use your muscles for is something that I would be unable to do in the future. Waking, running, climbing, standing, raising my arms, clapping my hands, lifting, writing, sitting upright, swallowing, breathing, everything uses muscle -even the heart is a muscle. At 16, my future was to be in a wheelchair until I was unable to sit up any longer and then permanently bound to a bed. Imagine how I felt. I always wanted to be a little different than everyone else; you know a little special… But not this different!!! How would you feel if when you got home tonight your parents told you that you had an incurable disease that wouldn't kill you, it would just make the next 60 years of your life painful, frustrating and virtually unbearable? I asked God why, what had I done to deserve this and asked him to take it away. If he answered, I didn't hear it. I couldn't believe that the one life I had been given would be lived as a crippled up person. How could a life like that be worthwhile? What good would I be to anyone? I didn't understand why but I knew that a God who could do that to me wasn't a God I wanted anything to do with.

    As the years passed I did the best I could. I graduated from BCHS and went to college at Butler. The doctors didn't think it would be a good idea for me to endure the stress of college but I went anyway. About my sophomore year in college my disease worsened significantly and because I was at a loss about what to do, once again I asked God to take this disease away. I was persistent in my prayers but after about a week I decided God wasn't listening and didn't care about me. I decided I had to somehow deal with this without God.

    Life continued, I got married, had two kids and began another phase of my life. Just after Katie was born, my husband decided to leave and get a divorce. Part of the reason he left was because it was too difficult to deal with the effects of this degenerative disease. Once again, this disease was ruining my life. At this point though I realized that it wasn't about me any longer. I had 2 small children to raise … it was about them.

    I tried God one more time but this time instead of asking him to take this disease away I asked him for the strength to endure it for the girls's sake. That was it. God helped me. He wasn't going to take this disease away but he was going to help me deal with it. I'd been praying the wrong prayer all these years. I wanted it my way, I wanted the disease gone so instead of submitting to God's will and asking for his help to use the disease for good, I was telling him to fix it my way. How stupid was I? Who did I think I was putting my own desires before God's universal plan? I felt a little better when I remembered that even Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane asked God to remove his sentence to be hung on the cross. Of course for him it only took a second to submit to God's will when in his next breath he said THY WILL BE DONE and it took me half a lifetime, but I finally got there. God's will for me was to be handicapped and like it or not that's how it would be. The choice of how to handle it though was mine.

    With God's help, my outlook changed almost immediately and I began reading all I could about God, his will, and his promises. It seems I wasn't worthless after all and God did have a plan for me. I was concentrating so hard on the negative parts of being handicapped, I completely overlooked the positives. Besides good parking spaces and great seats at the Hoosier Dome, I get to see God work through me to help countless numbers of people with their own struggles.

    Well you may say, "yeah but what about you in a wheelchair all of the time and missing out on some of the best parts of life?" Be assured God did not forget me or any of us for that matter. Over the years we've heard the phrases "life after death" and "everlasting life" and "living with God for all eternity". I got the general idea that when we died there was supposed to be something more but the details were a little foggy. So I decided to look into the eternal paradise God promised, to find out what it would be like and how I would get there.

    The truth is that we control where we go after we die. God offered us a gift of eternal salvation provided that we "confess with our mouths that, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead, we will be saved." Romans 10:9

    This means that although we live in this world for a certain number of years, we have the opportunity to spend all of eternity in paradise. A place where according to the Bible:

    • " We will live with the Lord … in person (Revelation 21:3).

    • " There will be pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11).

    • " Everyone will be physically whole in every way. The deaf will hear, the blind will see, and the lame will be able to run (Isaiah 35:5, 6; Philippians 3:21).

    • " There will be no more death, pain, tears, sorrow, sickness, tragedy, disappointment, hunger, or thirst (Revelation 21:4; Isaiah 33:24; Revelation 22:3; Isaiah 65:23; Revelation 7:16).

    • " Jealousy, fear, hatred, falsehood, envy, impurity, cynicism, filth, worry, and all evil will be forever gone (Revelation 21:8, 27; 22:15).

    • " Vast seas as we know them today will be gone (Revelation 21:1).

    • "The whole world will be one huge garden of unsurpassed beauty, interspersed with lakes, rivers, and mountains (Revelation 22:1; Acts 3:20, 21).

    • " The animals will all be tame. None will prey upon others, and a little child will lead them (Isaiah 11:6-9; 65:25).

    • " There will be no more violence of any kind (Isaiah 60:18)"

    • " Righteous loved ones who have died will be raised to join the righteous living in God's kingdom (Isaiah 26:19; Jeremiah 31:15-17; 1 Corinthians 15:51-55; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).

    • " People will know each other, just as people recognize each other on the earth today. " We will build houses, and inhabit them; and plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them. (Isaiah 65:21, 22).

    • " We will sing and play heavenly music (Isaiah 35:10; 51:11; Psalm 87:7; Revelation 14:2, 3).

    • " We will Worship before God's throne every Sabbath (Isaiah 66:22, 23).

    • " We will enjoy never-fading flowers and trees (Ezekiel 47:12; Isaiah 35:1, 2).

    • " We will Visit with loved ones, patriarchs, prophets, etc. (Matthew 8:11; Revelation 7:9).

    • " We will study the animals of heaven (Isaiah 11:6-9; 65:25).

    • " We will travel and explore without ever becoming weary (Isaiah 40:31).

    • " We will listen to God sing (Zephaniah 3:17).

    • " We will realize our fondest ambitions (Psalm 37:3, 4; Isaiah 65:24).


    • Heaven will be far more glorious and rewarding than anything we can possibly imagine. "Not even in its wildest dreams can the heart of man begin to comprehend the marvels of God's eternal kingdom. All that Adam lost will be restored" (Acts 3:20, 21).


    • That's what God has planned for us. So the story of life doesn't end with death it just changes with death. Life becomes better after death. And it seems that the story of my life that Mrs. Schaffner asked me to talk about with you is far from over regardless of when I leave this earth.


    • So when you think about your life…

    • " think about following God's will rather you're your own,

    • " think about turnng to God rather than to drugs or alcohol in your times of need,

    • " think about where you want to be for eternity and make the right choices to get there ....

    • Because I want to see you all in paradise and show you all how well I can run.

    • Thank you.

  • John Shaugnessy wrote an article for the Criterion on 2/17/06 on Debby's speech to the Sophomore class.



Anna Montgomery
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