Tony Dungy—On the death of his son James Dungy, 18 yrs old
Family and friends, players, coaches and colleagues came to Idlewild Baptist Church in Lutz, Florida on Tuesday, December 27, 2005, to mourn the passing of James Dungy, the eldest son of Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy and his wife, Lauren. Tony Dungy had a message for all. “I urge you not to take your relations for granted,” Dungy told the gathering of about 1,500. “Parents, hug your kids each chance you get. Tell them you love them each chance you get. You don't know when it's going to be the last time.” Tony had a much stronger message of faith in Jesus Christ for all.
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Remarks by Tony Dungy after the funeral of his son, James Dungy, today:
"I just want to first of all start out by saying thank you for the love and the prayers and the support that we’ve received from the people of Tampa, the people of Indianapolis and the people all over the country. They’ve been very, very great and gracious to us in a time of grief for our family. "We loved our son very much. He loved us, and we miss him terribly. But we also understand that we have some tremendous promises from God. And God promises to be with us, and he’s with us in the great times, he’s with us in the tough times. And our family will stand strong. "The strength that we have in the Lord will allow us to get through this, just as we get through times of victory. "Our grief is great. But from our family, we just say thank you. We say thank you to everyone. We appreciate everybody that’s touched his life, everybody that’s been part of him growing up. "James was a good young man with a compassionate heart, and we were glad to have him for 18 years. We are also glad that he accepted Christ as his savior, so that God has him now for the rest of eternity. "Thank you."
12/27/05 -
My Q&A on the issue of suicide, Heaven and that taking one's own life is not the "unpardonable sin".....
Question: Can you go to heaven if you commit suicide?
Answer: Yes - if the person gave their heart to Jesus Christ (an event God only truly knows the answer to), then you will go to heaven..... without question......
Some may believe differently, but they will not find support for this conclusion in the Bible - - the only source of truth.......
Here's a quick summary of the support for believing in what I say.....- - Some folks consider suicide as an "unpardonable sin". This is due to the fact that the person who commits suicide does not live to confess their sin. And so, they die with a sin unconfessed.
The Bible says - - -. the believing sinner is justified (just as if he had never sinned, in the sight of God) the moment that he believes. His sins (past, present, future) are washed away by the shed blood of Christ. The believer's hope of heaven is not in his own ability to "hold out faithful until the end", but in the finished work of Christ on the cross (thats why the Mel Gibson film "Passion of the Christ" is so important -- its not only a righteous person being murdered, but through the cross, God put all the sins of the world, past , present and future (including suicide) on Christ at the cross - - and God dealt with them there - - that whoever believes in Christ, his sins are forgiven - past , present and future - -- - the cross is the pivitol and central event in this world !!!!!.
My going to heaven when I die does not depend upon me confessing my daily sins but by the fact that there was a time and place that I appropriated by faith the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross for all my sins - past, present and future.
Admittedly, my confession of daily sins has a great deal to do with my power, peace, influence, testimony, and rewards in heaven, but not my salvation.
If a person does not accept Christ, then they will not go to heaven..........
In addition, in Matthew 12:31, Jesus said the only unforgiveable sin was blasphemy against the Holy Spirit - - - (not suicide) - - - we are saved by Grace, not by our actions......
There are a number of examples (I can count 6) of suicide in the Bible, and a number of temptations to commit suicide (perhaps 4).
Here's an example - - Samson (his death is told in the Book of Judges 16:28-31). Samson was a person who took his own life. In the Book of Hebrews - Chapter 11, which is known as the "Faith Hall of Fame" chapter, Samson is listed as a true believer (Hebrews 11:32). Therefore, given this example, one could not conclude Samson, who committed suicide, is not in heaven.
Here's a quick summary - - Samson was dedicated to God from his birth. He became a judge and lived in the power of God for a short while. He was known for his daring feats of strength. After he had broken his vows, he lost his power, his sight, and his liberty. He was made a slave. While on display one day in a temple to an idol of the Philistines, he prayed and God gave him strength to pull down the support columns of the temple. This caused the death of many of the leading Philistines, but it also caused Samson's own death.
There's so much on this topic - - but the key issue is, if James Dungy gave his heart to Christ, James is with Christ now, in heaven.....for the bible tells us so......
In addition, here's Billy Graham's response to the issue of suicide, that was recently included in the local, Indianapolis paper.
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As written on thegoal.com, a website that includes the "life stories of hundreds of world class athletes."
Tony Dungy:
" I accepted Christ at a young age as my family told me about Jesus and what He did for me. Most people considered me a "good person," yet as I grew older my love for sports was definitely stronger than my interest in Christianity. My faith took a back seat. When I joined the Steelers, I roomed with Donnie Shell. In addition to having great athletic ability, he and several other Christians stood out as they daily demonstrated their faith. As I talked with these guys and attended team Bible studies, God's Holy Spirit lit a fire in me. I have learned that accepting Christ requires total commitment and that football is not the most important thing. My second year as a Pittsburgh Steeler we won the Super Bowl. That highlighted my brief playing career. But the highlight of my life was when I asked Jesus Christ into my heart. The thrill of winning a Super Bowl is temporary—receiving Christ counts for eternity."
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As written on Eternal Perspectives Ministries website, on a speech given by Tony Dungy before Superbowl XL, at an Athletes in Action awards ceremony. Tony's message on his Christian witness in the midst of amazing suffering is a must read !
Note from Randy: Nanci and I attended the Athletes in Action breakfast spoken about in the following article. Tony's message was perhaps the most powerful Holy Spirit-anointed presentation by any celebrity, sports or otherwise, I have ever heard. The richness, the depth, the pain and joy of it were beyond words.DETROIT, Mich.—They were there for breakfast, and they were there to cheer New York Jets running back Curtis Martin. And it was Martin who received the Athletes in Action Bart Starr Award Saturday morning, but the hundreds who gathered in the fourth-floor ballroom at the Marriott Renaissance in Detroit, Mich., on the morning before Super Bowl XL were clearly touched by the featured speaker. That speaker was Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy.
Two hours into the breakfast, emcee Brent Jones introduced Dungy, who was welcomed with a lengthy standing ovation. Dungy thanked the crowd, shared an anecdote about Martin, then told the crowd he was going to speak for about 15 minutes.
"It's great to be here," Dungy told the crowd, then adding with a laugh, "I just wish I wasn't here in this capacity so many times of being just that close to being in the game and just being an invited speaker. "My goal is to have our team here one day and have a couple of tables with all of our guys here.
Because we have a special group of young men, a great group of Christian guys. It'd be wonderful to have them here so you could see their hearts and what they're all about. "It hasn't quite happened yet, but we're still hoping one day it will."
He told them he was going to talk about lessons he had learned from his three sons.
The crowd fell silent.
Then Dungy spoke.
And although this was a breakfast—and although at many such events speakers speak over the clinking of glasses and murmurs from semi-interested listeners—for most of the 15 minutes the room was silent except for Dungy's voice.
He spoke of his middle son, Eric, who he said shares his competitiveness and who is focused on sports "to where it's almost a problem." He spoke of his youngest son, Jordan, who has a rare congenital condition which causes him not to feel pain. "He feels things, but he doesn't get the sensation of pain," Dungy said. The lessons learned from Jordan, Tony Dungy said, are many. "That sounds like it's good at the beginning, but I promise you it's not," Dungy said. "We've learned a lot about pain in the last five years we've had Jordan. We've learned some hurts are really necessary for kids. Pain is necessary for kids to find out the difference between what's good and what's harmful." Jordan, Dungy said, loves cookies. "Cookies are good," Dungy said, "but in Jordan's mind, if they're good out on the plate, they're even better in the oven. He will go right in the oven when my wife's not looking, reach in, take the rack out, take the pan out, burn his hands and eat the cookies and burn his tongue and never feel it. He doesn't know that's bad for him." "Jordan," Dungy said, "has no fear of anything, so we constantly have to watch him."
The lesson learned, Dungy said, is simple. "You get the question all the time, 'Why does the Lord allow pain in your life? Why do bad things happen to good people? If God is a God of love, why does he allow these hurtful things to happen?'" Dungy said. "We've learned that a lot of times because of that pain, that little temporary pain, you learn what's harmful. You learn to fear the right things. "Pain sometimes lets us know we have a condition that needs to be healed. Pain inside sometimes lets us know that spiritually we're not quite right and we need to be healed and that God will send that healing agent right to the spot. "Sometimes, pain is the only way that will turn us as kids back to the Father."
Finally, he spoke of James. James Dungy, Tony Dungy's oldest son, died three days before Christmas. As he did while delivering James' eulogy in December, Dungy on Saturday spoke of him eloquently and steadily, speaking of lessons learned and of the positives taken from the experience. "It was tough, and it was very, very painful, but as painful as it was, there were some good things that came out of it," Dungy said. Dungy spoke at the funeral of regretting not hugging James the last time he saw him, on Thanksgiving of last year.
"I met a guy the next day after the funeral," Dungy said. "He said, 'I was there. I heard you talking. I took off work today. I called my son. I told him I was taking him to the movies. We're going to spend some time and go to dinner.' That was a real, real blessing to me." Dungy said he has gotten many letters since James' death relaying similar messages. "People heard what I said and said, 'Hey, you brought me a little closer to my son,' or, 'You brought me a little closer to my daughter,''' Dungy said. "That is a tremendous blessing."
Dungy also said some of James' organs were donated through donors programs. "We got a letter back two weeks ago that two people had received his corneas, and now they can see,'' Dungy said. "That's been a tremendous blessing."
Dungy also said he received a letter from a girl from the family's church in Tampa. She had known James for many years, Dungy said. She went to the funeral because she knew James. "When I saw what happened at the funeral, and your family and the celebration and how it was handled, that was the first time I realized there had to be a God," Dungy said the girl wrote. "I accepted Christ into my life and my life's been different since that day." Added Dungy, "That was an awesome blessing, so all of those things kind of made me realize what God's love is all about."
Dungy also said he was asked often how he was able to return to the Colts so quickly after James' death. James died on December 22, and Dungy returned to the team one week later. Dungy said the answer was simple.
"People asked me, 'How did you recover so quickly?''' Dungy said. "I'm not totally recovered. I don't know that I ever will be. It's still very, very painful, but I was able to come back because of something one of my good Christian friends said to me after the funeral. "He said, 'You know James accepted Christ into his heart, so you know he's in heaven, right?' I said, 'Right, I know that.' He said, 'So, with all you know about heaven, if you had the power to bring him back now, would you?' When I thought about it, I said, 'No, I wouldn't. I would not want him back with what I know about heaven.' "That's what helped me through the grieving process.
Because of Christ's Spirit in me, I had that confidence that James is there, at peace with the Lord, and I have the peace of mind in the midst of something that's very, very painful.
"That's my prayer today, that everyone in this room would know the same thing."
Eternal Perspectives Ministries ( http://www.epm.org )by John Oehser
(Article originally appeared Saturday, February 4, 2006, "Spreading His Message," www.Colts.com)
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Tony Dungy - Speech given at the Athletes in Action NFL Super Bowl Breakfast- Dungy's speech entitled "Valuable Lessons from My Sons"
I'm going to illustrate three things that I've learned about the Lord, and I'm going to use my boys to illustrate that.
I'm going to start with my middle son, Eric. He's 14 years old, and if you watch a lot of football, you've probably seen him on the sidelines of Colts games. He looks more like me than my other two boys do. As a matter of fact, he looks so much like me, when I look at him I see myself at 14, and I see a lot of the same things. Eric is very, very competitive -- ultra competitive. He is focused on sports to where it's almost a problem. He's super-emotional to where it's almost scary. Now, those of you that see me now would say, "Wait a minute, that doesn't sound a lot like you," but it was me at 14. I grew up not too far from here in Jackson, Michigan, and there are some people in this room that knew me when I was 14 years old. So when I look at Eric now at 14, and I look at myself, that's one of the things I know about God. I know how powerful His Spirit is; I know that He can change people; and I know that He'll do that if we allow Him to, and I really believe He's going to do that with Eric as he grows.
The second way I've seen God's hands at work is through our youngest son, Jordan. He's five years old. Jordan was born with a rare, very, very rare neurological condition. It's called congenital insensitivity to pain. There's only two or three cases in the whole United States. It's a little more prevalent in other countries, but there's only been about three diagnosed in the United States, and basically what happens, he is missing the conductors that allow the nerve signals to go from his body to his brain. And that sounds like it's good at the beginning, but, I promise you, it's not. We've learned a lot about pain in the last five years since we've had Jordan, and we've learned that some hurts are really necessary for kids. Pain is necessary, really, for kids to find out the difference between what's good and what's harmful. Jordan loves cookies, but in his mind, if they're good out on the plate, they're even better in the oven, and so he will go right in the oven, if my wife's not looking, when she's baking them, reach in, take the rack out, take the pan out, burn his hands, okay, eat the cookie that's too hot, burn his tongue and never feel it. And he doesn't know that that's bad for him. When we got to the park, he'll go on the slide, and all kids know it's fun to go up the slide and slide down, and he has fun doing that, too. To him, it's just as much fun jumping off from the top. He has no fear of anything, so we constantly have to watch him. We've also learned that pain actually helps the body heal -- something I didn't know until talking with the doctors, that you get an injury, your brain senses there is pain there, and it sends the right healing agents naturally to that spot because it sense something is wrong. Without that sensation of feeling something is wrong, Jordan's body doesn't send those healing agents and, consequently, he's got cuts from June and July that haven't healed yet.
So that's what we've seen and, really, why does the Lord allow pain in your life? Why do bad things happen to good people? If God is a God of love, why does He allow these hurtful things to happen? Well, we've learned that, a lot of times, because of that pain, that little temporary pain, you learn what's harmful; you learn to fear the right things. Pain sometimes lets us know we've got a condition that needs to be healed, and pain inside sometimes lets us know that spiritually we're not quite right, and we need to be healed, and God will send that healing agent right to the spot. And sometimes pain is the only way that will turn us, as kids, back to the Father. So we've learned a lot about that.
But I think the most important lesson that I've learned about the Lord, I learned from my oldest son, James. As you heard, James would have been 19, but he died right before Christmas. James was a Christian, and he was, by far, the most sensitive, the most compassionate, of all our boys -- very, very compassionate, very sensitive. As most teenage boys today, James was getting a lot of messages from the world that maybe that's not the way to be, and you've all seen them on TV, in the movies, the music they listen to, the magazines that they are able to read, and you get those conflicting signals and mixed signals. And he was struggling very much with how you should respond to the world, and he ended up taking his life right before Christmas, and it was tough. It was very, very painful. But as painful as it was, there were some good things that came out of it. When I was at the funeral, I talked about one of my biggest regrets, and it goes right along with the last thing that Bart just shared. James was home for Thanksgiving and was leaving, going back to school and going back to work, and just the normal process. You don't think about it. I said, "Hey, I'll see you later." My daughter took him to the airport, we just exchanged, "See you later," and that was the last time I saw him." I talked to him on the phone a lot but never saw him again, and I shared at the funeral that my biggest regret was that I didn't give him a big hug the very last time I saw him. I met a guy the next day after the funeral, and he said, "You know, I was there, I heard you talking, I took off work today. I called my son, and I said, "I'm going to take you to the movies, and we're going to spend some time and go to dinner." That was a real, real blessing to me. I've gotten a lot of letters like that from people who have heard what I said and said, "Hey, you brought me a little closer to my son," or "a little closer to my daughter," and that is a tremendous blessing. We are able to donate some of James's organs to Organ Donors Program; got a letter back about two weeks ago that two people had received his corneas and now can see. [applause]
That has been a tremendous blessing.
I had the privilege of talking to a young man who is James's age who was going through some struggles; didn't know if he could make it, and we talked for about a week, and his voice just didn't sound good, but every day it sounded a little bit better and better, and about 10 days later he called me back and asked me how I was doing, and I could just feel in his voice he was doing better, and he was going to make it, and that was a tremendous blessing.
I got a letter from a girl in our church who had grown up with James, and she said, "You know, we've been going to the same church in Tampa for all these years. I sat there in church every Sunday but never really knowing if there was a God or not. I came to the funeral because I knew James. When I saw what happened at the funeral, and your family and the celebration and how it was handled, that was the first time I realized there has to be a God, and I accepted Christ into my life, and my life's been different since that day." [applause]
And that was an awesome blessing.
So all those things have kind of made me realize what God's love is all about. But here, the biggest part of that, I know in my heart that James's death has affected many people and benefited many people, and that makes me feel better, but I also know this -- if God had had a conversation with me and said, "I can help some people see; I can heal some relationships; I can save some people's lives; I can give some people eternal life, but I have to take your son to do it, you make the choice." I know how I would have answered that. I would have said, "No, I'm sorry. As great as all that is, I don't want to do that." And that's the awesome thing about God. He had that choice, and He said, "Yes, I'm going to do it" 2,000 years ago with His Son, Jesus, on the cross. And because He said yes, because He made the choice that I wouldn't make as a parent, that's paved the way for us to come back into relationship with Him. That's paved the way for us to see changed lives like Curtis's. That's let us know with certainty that we can live in heaven. That's the benefit I got by accepting Christ into my heart; that's the benefit James got. I went back to work one week after my son died. I had a lot of media people, a lot of sportswriters, a lot of fans ask me, "How could you get back to work so quick after something like that? How have you recovered so quickly?" And I'm not totally recovered. I don't know if I ever will be. It's still very, very painful. But I was able to come back because of something one of my good Christian friends said to me after the funeral. He said this, "You know, James accepted Christ into his heart, so you know he's in heaven, right?" I said, "Right, I know that." So with all you know about heaven, if you had the power to bring him back right now, would you?" And when I thought about that, I said, "No, I wouldn't. I would not want him back with what I know about heaven." That's what helped me through the grieving process -- because of Christ's Spirit in me, I had that confidence that James is there at peace with the Lord, and I have the peace of mind in the midst of something that's very, very painful. And that's my prayer today -- that everyone in this room would know that same thing.
Tony Dungy, Coach of the Indianapolis Colts(Speech given at the Athletes in Action NFL Super Bowl breakfast)
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A Sports Illustrated Rick Reilly piece on Dungy - "Coaching the Grief - Stricken" - 5/07- In the midst of his terrible loss, Dungy consoles a father who also lost his son. The father's response was, "Dungy helped me keep my faith"........ Praise God !
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An Indpls. Star piece - "My son's death was a test" - Dungy says "sometimes when you have disappointments, it makes the final destination that much sweeter."
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Tony's book - "A Quiet Strength" website- The official website for Tony's book - - includes alot of good stuff!
Image via VICTOR JUNCO / AP, 1997.
